Love is in the air…

This month’s article:

Romance is for the Cats and Dogs

by Reid Mihalko

Romance makes things better.

It’s true. Even if you hate Hollywood romance films, heart-covered Hallmark cards, chocolate roses, and want to kick Cupid in the shin, no matter how much you hate Valentine’s Day, long walks on beaches, or eye-gazing, it’s hard to argue that the warm fuzzies we get when someone strikes our romance chords are bad.

In fact, that sweet, gooey release of the romantic “feel-goods” is great for your health, both body and mind.

You might be surprised to know, that most of what makes romance feel so darn good is chemical. I’m not talking about the chemistry of a shared bottle of Two-Buck Chuck wine. I’m referring to the release of immune system bolstering, social bond-reinforcing, stress reducing hormones.

These all-natural, body-produced hormonal cocktails are the exact same stuff that puts the “mad” into “madly in love,” and by mad I mean “crazy.” The brain-chemistry of love, by the way, has been extensively researched and continues to be. It’s fascinating stuff. And while you might hate it when your best friend falls head-over-heels for Mr. or Ms. So-and-so causing them to forget all about you, there are many health benefits from all these hormones swirling around in your body and brain. With romance, it’s much of the same chemistry, just in smaller doses. Think of it as Love Potion #9 Lite: Tastes great, less crazy making! And for those of us already in love, or in relationships that have outlasted their honeymoon periods, romance is a great way of delivering an extra (sometimes much needed) shot or two of the warm fuzzies.

Photo Illustration by Ann Cutting for Time Magazine

Romantic interludes and thoughtful acts can trigger the release of feel-good hormones which are outstanding for our physical and mental health. An intimate cuddle on the couch or a shared bit of dark chocolate after a romantic dinner can seduce the body into releasing hormones like oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) and phenylethylamine (released by the brain during orgasm and also found in chocolate). These hormones lower blood pressure, improve immune system performance, and inhibit the release of stress inducing hormones while also psychologically promoting a deeper sense of trust, and feelings of being understood and appreciated. These physiological and psychological effects can be a huge help after a hard day at work trying to meet a deadline, a rough day tending to sick children, dealing with financial difficulties and economic pressures, etc., etc. Romance can leave us feeling less alone in the world, more relaxed and calm, and feeling better about ourselves. In short, a little romance can go a looooong way towards getting us through a cold winter. (Or any season for that matter!)

The trouble with tradition…

Unfortunately, for many of us, the cultural stereotypes for what is romantic and acceptable aren’t always clear nor do they always work. It seems, that even when it comes to romance, everyone is unique and what worked on your ex doesn’t always leave your current partner feeling loved and cherished. Then there’s the fact that Hollywood seems pretty stuck on romance being a guy/girl thang that has the chocolate-covered strawberries rolling in only one direction: man to woman.

What about romancing the dude? And what if you’re allergic to strawberries?

The fact that America’s romantic traditions and symbols are so very gendered and unidirectional can be a big pain in the ass. If the traditional go-tos like roses and a card don’t get you all gushy, your partner might soon run out of other ideas and give up. Worse, you or they could be thinking you’re doing “romantic” things with the most earnest of intentions, doing a great job, but continually missing the mark and leaving those you care about starving. And attempting to sweet-talk the non-traditional gender seems so laughable by our cultural standards that  women romancing men and men romancing men are the things of sit coms and Comedy Central sketches about prison.  Bubba, you made me a shiv? How romantic… While occasionally funny and usually at least a tad insensitive, the cultural message is bleak: Do not waste your time romancing men ’cause it doesn’t work.

These traditions are just a partial list, hints and clues, really. And romance, like Angelina Jolie, goes both ways.

A diamond ring is not inherently romantic, and even the most stoic of men can have a soft-spot. And while we can argue that dark chocolate might be romantic on account of the phenylethylamine, or that Dick Cheney would never be caught dead taking a long walk on the beach, the point is that almost anything can be made to be romantic and anyone can be romanced, if you know how romance occurs for the other person.

And, for the record, men are actually quite easy to romance!

Romance is actually all about cats and dogs.

In my Romance for the Rest of Us workshop, and in my personal couples and one-on-one coaching, I get the great honor of making the fine art of romance easy!

Making romance easy, surprisingly enough, has very little to do with being a man or a woman, or being single or married or straight or gay or queer or trans, for that matter. Romance, as you’re about to discover, isn’t even about chocolate or pearl necklaces or roses or cupids shooting arrows at us.

Romance, believe it or not, is all about cats and dogs…

READ THE ENTIRE ARTICLE.

5 Reasons Why Dogs Think Letting You Pick the Restaurant is Romantic

You’ve got to read the Romance Is For Cats and Dogs article to understand this, btw. Enjoy!

1. Dogs want you to pick because we want you to be happy with the food. (We’re not sure what food you’ll be in the mood for come date time, so asking you to pick makes sense.)
2. Dogs don’t usually care what we eat. Deferring to you and your tastes in the moment make us happier and more at ease ‘cause we want you to have the food and ambiance you’re actually craving now!
3. Dogs tend not to think about things “in advance,” but, rather, are very “now” oriented. When it comes to picking a place in advance versus picking it when comes time to go out on our date, doing it closer to the date makes more sense.
4. Dogs are just happy to be spending time with you anywhere. To us, that you’re spending time with us at all is really all we need. That you’re spending time with us at all means that we must be doing something right. If we weren’t, you wouldn’t be with us.
5. Dogs crave being told, “good dog,” and we don’t want to pick the wrong restaurant or presume that we can read your mind so deferring to you in the moment seems the best way for us to do a good job meeting your needs.

See where Reid will be next…

Give Cupid a Hug from Me!

For those of you around the world who might be participating or considering attending an upcoming Valentine’s Cuddle Party (I’ve got a Singles Only CP happening in Times Square, NYC, on Feb 13th), I thought I would jump over to the Cuddle Party website at CuddleParty.com and dig through their articles section. I found this piece that I penned waaaaaay back in 2004, which, I am proud to say, still holds up!

Snuggle on!

More Spoon For Your Buck: How to Make the Most of your Cuddle Party Experience

by Reid Mihalko, the Warren Buffett of Snuggling

Okay, you’ve heard or read about Cuddle Parties enough times that you’ve finally checked out the website, said to yourself in your best skeptical voice, “Hmmmm, seems harmless enough… Three hours of massage, spooning, and conversation sounds pretty okay.” Then your boss calls up and yells at you for ten minutes, after which the idea of cuddling a bunch of strangers sounds like heaven. In a moment of hug-fest-crave induced courage, you email your RSVP to the next Cuddle Party, and now you’re thinking, “What the heck do I do now? How do I make the most of all this?”

Well, I’m glad you asked, because here’s the 411 on getting the most spoon for your buck!

Here are our top ten tips on how to get the most out of a Cuddle Party:

10. Even if you’re feeling a tad nervous, participate in the Welcome Circle’s Hug Exercise and the now-world-famous Cow Exercise….

READ THE REST OF THE ARTICLE

Valentine’s Tricks To Rock Your Partner’s Love Languages

In 1992, a marriage counselor and pastor in North Carolina, Dr. Gary Chapman, wrote a book called The 5 Love Languages. Whatever your views on Christianity, this is one of the most useful books on relationships I’ve yet to read, and I recommend it to anyone and everyone.

In honor of Cupid slinging his arrows in your direction this February, here is a super useful exercise of mine that I invite you to try with the loved ones in your linfe.

Happy St. Valentine’s Day…

1. Find out what  you and your partner’s Love Languages are – Take the quiz!
2. Come up with, plan and execute three things this Valentine’s Day that will be Love Language “home-runs” for the special people in your life. What I mean by “home-run” is that you surprise attempts to hit two or three of their preferred Love Languages for receiving/feeling loved in one task or act:

Receiving Gifts: Buy them a copy of Earning Your BLACKBELT in Relationship or a gift that you two can watch or do together (Bonus points for hitting Quality Time needs along with Receiving Gifts, btw!).

Words of Acknowledgement/Affirmation: Buy someone you care about a Valentine’s Day Card and write your own “top 5 reasons I love you” list inside. Then hide it in the fridge, in their car or jacket pocket - somewhere where they’re sure to find it. (Bonus points if they also love receiving gifts and you include a little something that they like along with the card!)

Quality Time: Make a date with your partner and leave all your electronic doohickeys and theirs at home -cell phone, laptop, iPod, etc.- and just go for a long walk somewhere, holding hands, and asking them about their day, etc. Or go ice skating or something interactive like a couples massage workshop. Don’t go to a movie. (Bonus points if Touch is one of their other top Love Languages!)

Acts of Service: Do something for your partner that you know they really need done and don’t have time to do themselves. Get the oil changed in their car before you hide that Valentine’s Day Card in it. Hire a maid to clean their house while you two go ice skating. You get the picture.

Giving/Receiving Touch: Look at the suggestions above and come up with a surprise that incorporates touch into one or two more of your partner’s Love Languages for receiving love!

Good luck with your Love Language home-runs! Let me know how they go for you, too!
~REiD

by Reid Mihalko

Romance makes things better.

It’s true. Even if you hate Hollywood romance films, heart-covered Hallmark cards, chocolate roses, and want to kick Cupid in the shin, no matter how much you hate Valentine’s Day, long walks on beaches, or eye-gazing, it’s hard to argue that the warm fuzzies we get when someone strikes our romance chords are bad.

In fact, that sweet, gooey release of the romantic “feel-goods” is great for your health, both body and mind.

You might be surprised to know, that most of what makes romance feel so darn good is chemical. I’m not talking about the chemistry of a shared bottle of Two-Buck Chuck wine. I’m referring to the release of immune system bolstering, social bond-reinforcing, stress reducing hormones.

These all-natural, body-produced hormonal cocktails are the exact same stuff that puts the “mad” into “madly in love,” and by mad I mean “crazy.” The brain-chemistry of love, by the way, has been extensively researched and continues to be. It’s fascinating stuff. And while you might hate it when your best friend falls head-over-heels for Mr. or Ms. So-and-so causing them to forget all about you, there are many health benefits from all these hormones swirling around in your body and brain. With romance, it’s much of the same chemistry, just in smaller doses. Think of it as Love Potion #9 Lite: Tastes great, less crazy making! And for those of us already in love, or in relationships that have outlasted their honeymoon periods, romance is a great way of delivering an extra (sometimes much needed) shot or two of the warm fuzzies.

Photo Illustration by Ann Cutting for Time Magazine

Romantic interludes and thoughtful acts can trigger the release of feel-good hormones which are outstanding for our physical and mental health. An intimate cuddle on the couch or a shared bit of dark chocolate after a romantic dinner can seduce the body into releasing hormones like oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) and phenylethylamine (released by the brain during orgasm and also found in chocolate). These hormones lower blood pressure, improve immune system performance, and inhibit the release of stress inducing hormones while also psychologically promoting a deeper sense of trust, and feelings of being understood and appreciated. These physiological and psychological effects can be a huge help after a hard day at work trying to meet a deadline, a rough day tending to sick children, dealing with financial difficulties and economic pressures, etc., etc. Romance can leave us feeling less alone in the world, more relaxed and calm, and feeling better about ourselves. In short, a little romance can go a looooong way towards getting us through a cold winter. (Or any season for that matter!)

The trouble with tradition…

Unfortunately, for many of us, the cultural stereotypes for what is romantic and acceptable aren’t always clear nor do they always work. It seems, that even when it comes to romance, everyone is unique and what worked on your ex doesn’t always leave your current partner feeling loved and cherished. Then there’s the fact that Hollywood seems pretty stuck on romance being a guy/girl thang that has the chocolate-covered strawberries rolling in only one direction: man to woman.

What about romancing the dude? And what if you’re allergic to strawberries?

The fact that America’s romantic traditions and symbols are so very gendered and unidirectional can be a big pain in the ass. If the traditional go-tos like roses and a card don’t get you all gushy, your partner might soon run out of other ideas and give up. Worse, you or they could be thinking you’re doing “romantic” things with the most earnest of intentions, doing a great job, but continually missing the mark and leaving those you care about starving. And attempting to sweet-talk the non-traditional gender seems so laughable by our cultural standards that  women romancing men and men romancing men are the things of sit coms and Comedy Central sketches about prison.  Bubba, you made me a shiv? How romantic… While occasionally funny and usually at least a tad insensitive, the cultural message is bleak: Do not waste your time romancing men ’cause it doesn’t work.

These traditions are just a partial list, hints and clues, really. And romance, like Angelina Jolie, goes both ways.

A diamond ring is not inherently romantic, and even the most stoic of men can have a soft-spot. And while we can argue that dark chocolate might be romantic on account of the phenylethylamine, or that Dick Cheney would never be caught dead taking a long walk on the beach, the point is that almost anything can be made to be romantic and anyone can be romanced, if you know how romance occurs for the other person.

And, for the record, men are actually quite easy to romance!

Romance is actually all about cats and dogs.

In my Romance for the Rest of Us workshop, and in my personal couples and one-on-one coaching, I get the great honor of making the fine art of romance easy!

Making romance easy, surprisingly enough, has very little to do with being a man or a woman, or being single or married or straight or gay or queer or trans, for that matter. Romance, as you’re about to discover, isn’t even about chocolate or pearl necklaces or roses or cupids shooting arrows at us.

Romance, believe it or not, is all about cats and dogs. Not whether or not you own a cat or a dog, but where on the spectrum of catness-to-dogness you fall when it comes to how romance occurs to you. Romance, I posit is an orientation! Thinking of romance like it’s a Kinsey Scale of what makes us feel loved and appreciated, if you will, is the key to understanding how to make romance easy.

Romantically speaking, “cat oriented” people tend to feel warm and fuzzy when they have proof someone is thinking of them. “Dog oriented” people tend to feel gushy and sweet when they get told, “good dog!” Forethought and acknowledgment: cats and dogs. End of lesson 1.

Compared to Hollywood’s version of romance, forethought and acknowledgment seem very different from the glittery Edward in Twilight expressing his emo-vampire love for Bella by refusing to suck her veins dry. Anything emotionally torturous and/or fits of self-denial labeled as romance should be avoided at all costs because that kind of “romantic” is usually followed by the word “tragedy.”

Anything emotionally torturous and/or fits of self-denial labeled as romance should be avoided at all costs because that kind of “romantic” is usually followed by the word “tragedy.”

My approach to romance is waaaaay more fun. It might take a second to get the hang of it, but that’s only because you’re probably fighting years of bad romance habits. Making someone feel romanced is actually quite simple and its applicable to most people, though I’m not entirely sure how it works on pubescent werewolves… My guess? Romance werewolves like you would dogs and not cats. (Does that put vampires on the cat-side of the spectrum? Hmmmm…)

Romance for “cats” is anything that you can do which proves you were thinking about that person before they walked in the door. Its forethought at is most simple, and has a great chance of occurring to these cat people as being romantic. Knowing and having proof that you were thinking of them when they weren’t standing right in front of you gives them the warm fuzzies.

What is romantic for “dogs” is having their likes and dislikes validated. Being told “bad dog,” or being scolded or made to feel like the things they like are wrong or silly isn’t very romantic for a dog. Appreciation and acknowledgment are what makes a romantically oriented dog person rollover and want their belly scratched.

And who doesn’t like a good case of the warm fuzzies and a belly scratch now and then?

Once you’ve got the basic concept down, it helps to remember that the catness-to-dogness system is a continuum. You can be more cat or more dog, entirely all cat or all dog, or 50/50 cat/dog when it comes to what makes you feel romanced. There’s no right way or wrong way. And one orientation or degree of preference isn’t any better than the other. It’s just a helpful approach to figuring out what makes your loved ones feel loved.

And for you binary-hater types who want to nail me to the box of chocolates for only talking about cats and dogs, I’m sure there are more than a few people out there for whom romance occurs on a vastly different continuum. To all my brother and sister otters and parrots and Pandas and unicorns, et al: I’m not trying to exclude you. I’m just trying to keep it simple for the folks at home!

Back to cats and dogs and how we make this knowledge work to our advantage…

Make the dinner reservations now.

We’ve got a date. You picked a restaurant and called ahead and made the reservation without me having to tell you or remind you. That equals in my cat-mind: “You must have been thinking of me.” You just scored yourself some major romance points.

To cover my bases, just in case it’s a dog oriented person I’m dating, I’m going to… Acknowledge you for kicking-ass in making those dinner reservations!

Whether I have a need to acknowledge you or not, it’s still an excellent thing for me to tell you how much I appreciate your thoughtfulness and how awesome a job you’re doing in our relationship (Good dog!). For the dogs in your life, you just made them super-duper happy. Woof!

To review: what occurs as romantic to a dog is acknowledgment and validation. Anything that says, “I approve of you, your likes and life. I validate that you’re a good person. Good dog!” What occurs as romantic to a cat is anything that proves you were thinking of them before they walked into the room.

To review: what occurs as romantic to a dog is acknowledgment and validation…. What occurs as romantic to a cat is anything that proves you were thinking of them before they walked into the room.

Just so you know, I’m a total dog, and I actually teach people in my life to say to me, “Reid, I approve of you, your likes and life. I validate that you’re a good person. Good dog, Reid!” Really. No lie. And, as silly as it sounds, it makes me feel friggin’ great even when I know they’re just saying it to me because I asked. Why does it work? Because I’m such a dog!

For those of you who are dogs in relationships with dogs or cats in relationships with cats, or variations of each, the same rules apply and nearly always work. Try ‘em!

Ways you can remind yourself to be more romantic…

Because this is not necessarily how we were taught to behave when it comes to romance, here are a few tips you can use towards implementing and integrating this knowledge.

For you cats reading this: Use your computer calendar to send yourself reminders like, “Tell them what a good dog they are today.” You get to let them know that you’re thinking about them -something that occurs to you naturally- and we dogs get the scratch behind the ear that we need so badly.

So, for us dogs, for those of us who when it comes to roses and chocolate, tend to “romance in the now” and not be thinking from forethought, what we can do is rather simple…

Write “Book those dinner reservations NOW!” on a post it and stick it to your fridge, computer screen or forehead. When ever you schedule a date, immediately pick a restaurant, call ‘em up, and reserve the table. Eating in tonight? Pick a menu and order the food before your sweetie walks through the door.

Cats people do the “make the reservations immediately” kind of thing almost naturally. If they don’t do it right then, they’ll remember to do it later ’cause… Well, because cats tend to think a lot about details and stuff. If you’re a dog like I’m a dog, I think a lot in the moment about whatever it is I’m focusing on, but should a squirrel or some other distracting thought scurry by -Whosh!- I’m off chasing what’s next, often forgetting to come back to take care of the dinner reservation bit. Hence my need for reminder post-its and the advantage of making those reservations immediately! Dogs -if you make this a habit- will have scored big romance points which you get to cash in for acknowledgments and belly scratches.

Booking reservations asap has done wonders for my love life.

I’m very much a dog and it definitely doesn’t occur to me naturally to make dinner reservations. What does occur to me, though, are all the details and thoughts about what need to happen before our date… Most of these kinds of detailed thoughts occur in one blast, usually right after I make the date with my sweetie, I used to put into the “can wait till later” category. I mean, the restaurant isn’t going anywhere, right, and I’ve got other things to do. However, all that got me was grief because I would always defer to my partner on where they wanted to eat, which, since I tend to date cats, wasn’t very romantic.

What I’ve trained myself to do, instead, is to not wait when stuff does occur to me in the moment. I make a date and I make a list of to dos that occur to me right then and there, and then I check off as many of those to do boxes as I can, as soon as I can. Why? Because that basically equals forethought to a cat!

It’s genius, I tell you.

If I ask you out on a date and you say yes and I immediately book a dinner reservation, order flowers (or that power drill you’ve been talking about!), and put a reminder on my calendar for it to email me the three other things I need to handle two days before our date… Well, what occurs to me as being proactive and clever (I can get a way better table at the restaurant booking the reservation ahead of time instead of waiting till the last minute) stands a great chance of reinforcing for my date that I’m a romantic pure breed!

My partner, especially when they’re feeling all warm and fuzzy because I totally struck their romance chord, knows to acknowledge me and tell me what a good dog. That makes me feel warm and appreciated, and we’re both flooded with romantic feelings and notions…

Even though the way romance occurs to us may be completely difference, we’ve managed to get those hormones flooding our systems. Now we’re feeling closer and more connected than ever, and, suddenly, everybody wins.

Romance does make things better after all!

So, to sum up my advice:

1. Figure out if you’re a cat or a dog when it comes to romance.
2. Figure out if what your partner’s orientation to romance is.
3. When in doubt: Always make the reservation in advance AND tell them what a wonderful job they’re doing in your world.

Happy romancing!

Your neighborhood sex and relationship cupid,
REiD

© 2010 Reid Mihalko, all rights reserved

Three days with hundreds of poly men and women, the poly-curious, and some of America’s top relationship educators!

Join world renowned sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko along with polyamorists (and the people who love ‘em!) from all over the country for the fifth annual Poly Living conference, in honor of Poly Living’s Creator George Marvil.

Spend three days with over a hundred open, intelligent and fun loving people as they descend on the Fort Washington Hotel out side of Philadelphia for workshops, social bonding, and more!

Poly Living is a place to learn relationship skills that support healthy polyamorous relationships. Poly-curious, monogamous and in a relationship with someone who’s poly, or monogamous but looking to upgrade your relationship skills? No problem! Poly Living’s workshops cover skills sets that can make whatever relationship-style your practicing stronger. As keynote speaker Reid Mihalko likes to say, “If I can have three relationships running smoothly, I might be able to help you have one!”

Poly Living’s workshops range from basic to advanced and from intellectual to experiential, covering topics both fun and serious.

18 Amazing workshops • Friday night Keynote and Reception • Saturday Luncheon • Saturday Night Social Time

This year’s keynote address topic by Reid Mihalko?

What happens when Poly becomes mainstream?

For the activists among us, progress for the poly movement has never been fast enough. For those who’ve been “poly for years,” shows like Big Love and the occasional Oprah episode on open marriages -whether “poly” is used or not- reassure us that things are shifting. For the newly poly, posting “In an open relationship” on our Facebook profile reminds us that we are no longer the only stranger in a strange land. And for the monogamous person choosing into a poly relationship, today, more than ever, there are books, workshops and DVDs to help you get your black belt in relationships and increase your odds of survival… No matter where you are on the poly spectrum of experience, what we all have in common is that polyamory is not yet mainstream… Has anyone thought about what happens when it does?

Join Reid Mihalko as he talks about his journey in polyamory, his experiences bringing poly to Hollywood and the reality television show business, and what Reid thinks is going to happen to us poly folk when polyamory becomes a household word.

Are you a Polyamory Educator, Community Leader, Sex Educator, Blogger or something like that? Why not attend the 3rd Annual National Polyamory Leadership Summit happening right after Poly Living!

Don’t know what to get your sweetie this Valentine’s? How about a 3-Way?

DATE: Wednesday, February 3rd,
TIME: 8-10 p.m.
WHERE: LA’s historic Pleasure Chest
7733 Santa Monica Blvd.
West Hollywood, CA 90046
323.650.1022
Cost: FREE!

It’s a popular fantasy with twice the pleasure potential, but navigating a three-way romance (if only for one night) can be tricky.

Join world renowned sex and relationship educator Reid Mihalko for this FREE, fun-filled, two-hour workshop (with live demonstrations!)…

Not only will you get a chance to ask questions, but we’ll cover:

• What are the best techniques to satisfy two lovers at once?
  Ways to overcome fears and concerns - Yours AND your partner’s!
  The most common threesome mistakes (and how to avoid them!)
  How to negotiate boundaries and safer sex protocols to make your next menage a trios tré bien!

Whether you’ve had more threesomes than Jim Morrison or are just beginning to consider three-in-a-bed might be something you’d like to explore, this workshop will give you plenty of tools, tricks, perspectives and laughs to enhance your love life and strengthen your relationships!

Even if you would NEVER be interested in a 3-way, this fun-filled class will give you lots of ways to talk to your loved ones about the things you DO WANT in the bedroom - no matter how tame or outrageous!

Bring your loved ones, bring your friends, and enjoy an educational and entertaining evening on how to successfully navigate one of the most common sexual fantasies: the threesome!

For more information, call Pleasure Chest at 323.650.1022.

ABOUT REID: Reid Mihalko of www.ReidAboutSex.com helps people create more self-esteem and greater health in their relationship and sex lives, no matter what their self-expression of those happen to be.

Reid has worked with thousands of individuals from myriad walks of life, orientations, relationship styles, countries and religions. Known for his charisma, wit and emphasis on integrity, Reid travels the country teaching, coaching, consulting and collaborating. He has been a writer and producer on a number of films and television projects about sex and relationships, and appears regularly in the media.

Reid has been a featured speaker at dozens of conferences on relationships and sexuality. He has also appeared on the Emmy award-winning talk show Montel, Fox News, VH1’s Scott Baio is 45 and Single, Showtime’s Penn & Teller’s Bulls**t!, Canada’s The Sex Files and SexTV, and the short-lived Life & Style, on NPR, Sirius’ Maxim Radio and Cosmo Radio, and in Marie Claire, GQ, Details, People, Newsweek and The National Enquirer, as well as media across the globe in thirteen countries and at least seven languages.

Get the ten relationship lessons hidden within the acronym B.L.A.C.K.B.E.L.T.S. delivered to your front door!

Never before has upgrading your relationship skills and improving your intimacy mojo been this fun and enlightening!

Learn the secret techniques that make Reid Mihalko and Kamala Devi “relationship ninjas” for just $19.95 plus s/h!

That’s right, just under twenty-bucks gets you a DVD full of humor and deep learning!

Whether you are a white belt in love or a bedroom ninja with amazing, heartfelt skills, this educational, humorous, sometimes irreverent (but always insightful) DVD from relationship masters Reid and Kamala is for you! Who doesn’t want to learn how to struggle less in your relationships, love more deeply, and have fun while doing it? Order your copy today!

Reviews of the DVD…

A 5.0 out of 5 stars, Amazon review of Earning Your BLACKBELT in Relationships:
An authentic, funny and practical examination of a healthy alternative to monogamy…
December 16, 2009
By Joyful Body Mind Spirit (San Diego, CA)

I’m a self-help junkie and that extends to podcasts and DVDs. I want to be the best person I can be. Lately I’ve been learning a lot about relationships and how to make them work, as well as my role in said relationships. This DVD offers a fresh, honest and out-of-the ordinary look at how to master romantic partnerships.

But wait, this isn’t just your regular feel-good collection of mumbo-jumbo marriage therapy diced and sliced into bites of information. Rather, this DVD explores real-world issues in a way you’ve probably never considered. Or if you have, you might have felt bad about it or thought you were alone. While Earning Your Black Belt in Relationships focuses mainly on how to make polyamorous–or “open”–relationships work, the ideas presented are excellent tools for any relationship. Even single people can take the ideas and apply them to their lives. The best viewer for this DVD isn’t someone who’s solely interested or labeled as polyamorous, but rather someone who is tired of making the same mistakes and wants to delve into different ways of thinking and being that actually work.

Sex and relationship coaches Kamala Devi and Reid Mihalko share tools and tricks to successfully sustaining multiple open relationships. That’s right, more than one. And guess what? If you can’t get one right, it’s not likely you’ll be able to get more than one right. So start small and blossom as your communication and awareness skills grow.

There are 10 chapters in this DVD, and the “lessons” spell out BLACKBELTS, which also echoes a fun ninja theme (it’s subtle, but clever). Mihalko and Devi explore the lessons in detail after you watch intriguing, real-life footage about the topic from people who live it. And no, not everyone is labeled as strictly polyamorous. One person is single and “poly-curious.” Another is monogamous but open-minded. Each topic ends with an exercise or “mission” to help anchor the ideas presented. Here’s a peek into the chapters:

1. Be Real: learn to be transparent - This chapter stresses how important it is to know who you are and what you really need. This is easier said than done, as many people live in a fog much of their lives. So before you do anything, get in touch with your authentic self.

2. Labels and Lovestyles: define your own terms - Figure out what works for you in relationship. Be specific and know that there are many different “fits” or “configurations.” You may even choose to not label yourself, but know that you still need to be able to communicate your needs, and words might be necessary.

3. Agreements and Boundaries: authentic negotiations - This chapter explores the importance of setting clear agreements and boundaries. Communication and transparency are the keywords here. When you know what works for you and you ask for what you need to feel safe, you create more freedom. These can evolve over time. The “mission” here is to determine what your bottom line is.

4. Clear Communication: express yourself fully - Without clear communication, you are not going to make it. If you like to withhold information or if you are unable to listen to and hear your partner, you have work to do. Develop your ability to speak your truth and hear your partner. Say what’s not being said.

5. Know your needs: and how to get them met - This chapter talks about “needs work,” which is pretty deep emotional work. You are in charge of your own needs. Be aware of what your needs are and meet them in a healthy way–needs aren’t bad. Use the communication skills you learned in previous chapters.

6. Break-ups and Transitions: let go with grace - Change is inevitable and break-ups aren’t necessarily bad. Longevity is a “horrible metric with which to measure the quality of a relationship.” Relationships are organic and seasonal. Be realistic about what’s healthy.

7. Emotions are Welcome: honor your feelings - Believe it or not, it is all right to feel whatever it is you are feeling. Be willing to express yourself and be willing to hold space for your partnerships. Emotions are meant to be felt. You can raise your emotional intelligence and apply it to your relationships.

8. Learning Curve: give yourself room to grow - This chapter normalizes the time it takes to get things “right.” Be gentle with yourself and see relationships as growth opportunities. Don’t try to be perfect. Expect breakdowns and work with them. Welcome the learning curve, learn and apply the lessons.

9. Takes a Tribe: creating alternative community - Surround yourself with support, community or tribe. Don’t isolate yourself. This can be online, a potluck, church, whatever works for you.

10. Sex and Spirituality: honoring your lovers and self - Approach your relationships with a sacredness and respect, regardless of whether or not it’s “mystical.” Elevate it to a higher co-creation. Be free from guilt, shame and fear.

Devi and Mihalko are real and engaging, and their down-to-earth rapport is charming. While the camera work is a little shaky at times, the content is so strong and the advice so compelling, it’s easy to forgive. Get ready to open your mind and your heart with this entertaining, educational and endearing DVD.

Order now! Just $19.95 plus s/h!

An Expansive Evening Exploring Kundalini, the “Tantric Twitchies” and Vibrational Luvin’ with Reid just in time for Valentine’s!

This workshop is Rated NC-17. Adults only. Includes Live Demonstrations

Perhaps you’ve heard of Tantra and remember reading somewhere (last month’s Cosmo?) something about “expanded orgasms,” but think that kind of stuff is only for people like Sting, yoga instructors or Jedi.

Maybe you or a lover has had ecstatic experiences in the bedroom involving post-orgasmic spasms that seem to have a mind of their own, but these spasms come and go infrequently enough that you can’t tell if they’re real or not.

Maybe you or your lover get these spasms all the time and you’ve since named them “the twitchys,” and when you told your friend the Kundalini yoga instructor about ‘em, they lit up and told you those spasms have a Sandskrit name called Kriyas (which you promptly forgot ’cause you don’t speak Sandskrit).

Whatever your level of experience with sex that seems to be “more than just sex,” join world renowned sex and relationship educator Reid Mihalko for three hours of humorous and informative instruction, sex education, and live demonstrations on this esoteric (and yet more common than you think) realm of sex: Energetic Sex.

Reid demonstrates an energetic orgasm and what he calls "Tantric Twitchies" (Kriyas) for the audience with the generous help of Amber Seitz at a workshop in Oakland

Date: Wednesday, Feb 1oth, 2010
Time: 7:30-9:30pm
Location: Sexy Spirits
Cost:
$30 per person
$25 student discount, and $25 each for couples
$20 per person for groups of three or more!

In this workshop where you’ll watch while Reid domonstrates, you will be introduced to:

• Reid’s particular views on how sexual energy “behaves” and how it “works,” as well as ways you can begin accessing more energetic awareness in the bedroom
• What Kriyas (”the twitchys”) can look like and what to do when you or a lover experiences them
• Three possible approaches for engaging sexual energy and expanding it when exploring energetic sex with a partner or solo with yourself
• What playing a singing saw has to do with energetic sex and expanding your lovemaking
• How to use “pressure play” and where so you can help unlock and activate points on your lover’s body to augment energetic experiences during love making
• A few advance tips and tricks that will make you smile and your partner moan regardless of whether “the twitchys” happen or not!

Come see for yourself just
how energetic
sex can be!

Whether you’d like to believe that energetic sex is possible but have never felt it, have a lover that experiences “the twitchys,” or you the one flopping around in bed like a fish and want to learn how to harness these sexual energies, Hands-On Energetic Sex is for you.

Please remember that this workshop is one of Reid’s Rated NC-17 workshop offerings, which means no one under 18 will be admitted. Why the age cutoff? Because this workshop includes explicit (and, at times, quite humorous) sexual content and adult sex education. If you are not okay with frank demonstrations, sexual language, and nudity, then please refrain from attending this workshop and consider attending one of Reid’s Rated-R or Rated-PG13 workshops. Thanks!

This is not a partner workshop. You may attend solo, but we encourage you to bring your friends, so spread the word!

Workshop participants will not have to participate. This workshop is designed for participants to watch, take notes, ask questions, and to learn!

Not sure what Energetic Sex is? Download THIS FREE CALL BELOW…

Download this FREE, 90-minute podcast on the ins and outs of Energetic Sex...

The dating and relationship scene across the country is tangled up in outdated models, mixed messages and “solutions” that aren’t working. What’s worse is, for men AND women, New York City is the simultaneously the best and the worst place on Earth to date! Heck, even the successful relationships around us are failing… Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins!?!

What is it we’re all missing?…

Join world renowned sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko as he sits down with spiritual counselor and teacher Paula Tursi for 90-minutes of discussion & conversation on how to reframe your experience and enlighten your quest for your perfect someone. Learn how  your search for a mate is really a journey  for your own self discovery.

Over the course of this insightful, comedic (and occasionally irreverent) evening, we will discuss:

• What is that ineffable “thing” is that makes relationships work and why so many of us miss seeing it!
• What if your mate wasn’t suppose to be your perfect lover, best friend, etc., but -instead- is your mirror for growth?
• How dating is really a beautiful lesson in how to live consciously, how to heal your own inner demons, and transform your life (Even during the times it feels like hell).
• Ways to look beyond the “they’re dreamy” Illusion or “Fantasy Loop” you keep getting stuck in and how to see what your no-bullshit truth is!

Are you frustrated by how much time you’ve spent on dating websites and botched, online dates, or bad relationships?

Sit with them as Reid asks and answers some of the hard questions about how we can find spirituality on our quest for Other. Hear Paula’s up front answers in sharing her own experience as she tells what worked and what didn’t and how it brought her closer to her inner light and to a real place of love and compassion instead of inadequacy and bitterness. Then join them for Q&A that just might change your relationship life!

After the workshop, join us for a social, wine meetup where you can mix and mingle  with other like-minded, single men and women whom would also like to get real about relationship.  Expand your mind while expanding your social network!

Whether you’re a man or a woman, married umpteen times, separated, recently divorced or never- been-kissed… Whether you’re just thinking about entering the online dating pool or you’ve been a member of Match.com for so long you should have been given stock options…

This workshop is for anyone who is confused and frustrated and not getting the results they want when it comes to the world of relationships in New York City and beyond!

Call Reflections Yoga to reserve your tickets before this evening sells out!
(212) 974.2288

DATE: Saturday, Feb 13th
WHEN: Talk - 7-8:30pm, Mixer - 9pm-Midnite
WHERE: Reflections Yoga in Times Square, 250 West 49 Street, 2nd Floor (Between 8th Ave. and Broadway), New York, NY 10019

COST:

Day-of ticket prices at the door…

• $20 for Talk Only
• $40 to attend both the Talk and Wine Mixer

Save on GROUP DISCOUNTS with advanced tickets…

• $35 each for You and a Friend for the Entire Evening
• $30 each for the Entire Evening when you buy 3 or more tickets!

Other Reid Valentine’s related workshops…
Feb 12th - Romance for the Jaded New Yorker and the Newly In Love!
Feb 13th - Single’s Only Cuddle Party
Feb 13th - Dating: The Reality and the Illusion… (And the Wine Tasting Meet Up, too!)
Feb 14th - Iron Slut Sex Educator Showdown Slams Providence, RI!
Feb 17th - The Ins and Outs of Hand-Sex with Amy Jo Goddard

ABOUT PAULA: Paula Tursi is the Founder and Director of Reflections Yoga and the Reflections Yoga Teacher Training Program. She has been working with alternative healing practices for over twenty years. She specializes in the combination of yoga, breath therapy and meditation. She uses these techniques in her class and private coaching sessions, giving her students tools to cope with the challenges of daily life. Paula holds yoga retreats and teacher trainings world wide, where she teaching movement awareness techniques mixed with the yoga to create a clear connection of the mind and body.

Paula’s work focuses on the connection of mind and body, understanding that we move not only from our muscles and joints, but from the understanding of ourselves and how we relate to the world. Movement or asana can start from the inner or outer body, however, movement initiated from the inner body can be an expression of locked memories in the mind that have been patterned over time.

Paula holds a Masters degree in Psychology from Columbia University and a Masters degree in Education from Hunter College. She did her clinical post-graduate training at the Milton H. Erickson Society for Psychotherapy and Hypnosis. She teaches classes, holds corporate workshops and offers individual instruction in breath awareness, partner yoga and spiritual coaching.

ABOUT REID: Reid Mihalko of www.ReidAboutSex.com helps people create more self-esteem and greater health in their relationship and sex lives, no matter what their self-expression of those happen to be.

Reid has worked with thousands of individuals from myriad walks of life, orientations, relationship styles, countries and religions. Known for his charisma, wit and emphasis on integrity, Reid travels the country teaching, coaching, consulting and collaborating. He has been a writer and producer on a number of films and television projects about sex and relationships, and appears regularly in the media.

Reid has been a featured speaker at dozens of conferences on relationships and sexuality. He has also appeared on the Emmy award-winning talk show Montel, Fox News, VH1’s Scott Baio is 45 and Single, Showtime’s Penn & Teller’s Bulls**t!, Canada’s The Sex Files and SexTV, and the short-lived Life & Style, on NPR, Sirius’ Maxim Radio and Cosmo Radio, and in Marie Claire, GQ, Details, People, Newsweek and The National Enquirer, as well as media across the globe in thirteen countries and at least seven languages.

Watch and Learn as Real Sex Educators Go Head To Head and Reveal Their Best Bedroom Moves…

Extra Special Valentine’s Edition of Sex Educator Showdown presents…

Sex and Relationship Expert

Reid Mihalko

VS.

RI’s Sassiest Sexpert

Megan Andelloux!

What better way to learn about practical sex education that you can actually use than to watch two sex educators literally go head to head? Let’s face it, sex is one of the few things we’re not allowed to learn by watching others. You go to a fancy dinner. You don’t know which spoon to use. You watch to see what spoon everyone else uses… But don’t know what to do how in the bedroom, or want to add a few tricks to your repertoire? No such luck!

Until now…

We had to drop the “Iron Slut” to get Brown University (Reid’s alma mater, btw) to allow us to have our smack down on Valentine’s Day, but we kept the “Sex Educator Showdown,” alright! And that means we’re bringing it to Providence’s College Hill this Cupid’s Day!

Join world renowned sex and relationship educator Reid Mihalko of ReidAboutSex.com and RI’s media darling Megan Andelloux of OhMegan.com, and watch as they go mano a mano and blow for blow, sharing their personal stories and bed room secrets!

Sunday, Feb 14th
Start time: 4pm • End time: 6pm
Brown University’s Salomon Hall, Room 101
Providence, RI

In this entertaining, informational, guaranteed-to-be-funny and friendly “competitive” throwdown, we’ll let the audience watch, take notes, ask questions, and, when the dust finally settles, meet these extraordinary educators and mingle with like-minded people.

Show up to this Rated NC-17 workshop designed to empower adults around their sex lives and get folks smiling!

Show up to this fun-filled, 2-and-a half hour workshop and learn:

• What sex educators do under the covers and how
• Their best tips and tricks (and probably not the kind you read about in Cosmo)
• Their favorite, black belt sexy-sexy time moves!
• And much, much more…

We can’t promise you badly dubbed voice-overs or high-jinx dramma like television’s Iron Chef, but we can promise you some down-to-earth, applicable sex and relationship education. The only theme ingredient is education!

Iron Slut is a wealth of sex geekery and informative experience that you don’t want to miss.

If you were a big fan of “I’ll show you mine, if you show me yours” as a kid, or you always wished there was a reality show called “Shagging With the Stars,” then this workshop might be for you. Tell your friends. Bring a date. Bring a note book, too, while you’re at it!

Cosponsored by Brown’s FMLA, SFC, SHEEC, QA, SDWC, and Health Education.

Other Reid Valentine’s related workshops…
Feb 12th - Romance for the Jaded New Yorker and the Newly In Love!
Feb 13th - Single’s Only Cuddle Party
Feb 13th - Dating: The Reality and the Illusion… (And the Wine Tasting Meet Up, too!)
Feb 14th - Iron Slut Sex Educator Showdown Slams Providence, RI!
Feb 17th - The Ins and Outs of Hand-Sex with Amy Jo Goddard

ABOUT MEGAN: Megan Andelloux works as the Director of the Sexuality Learning and Resource Center housed in the store “Miko” in Providence, RI. Through this role, she conducts workshops on the Medical and Pleasure aspects of Sexuality & also provides these workshops through out New England Universities and Feminist Run Sexuality Stores.

For the past 3 years she has also worked within Medical Community as a Gynocological Teaching Model. In this role she teaches individuals how to perform Breast, Vaginal and Anal exams with the use of her body. These practice exams allow the students to learn how to use appropriate touch, language and pressure for their future patients so the patients feel comfortable, listened to and respected.

For fun, Megan shops at Thrift Stores looking for dresses from the 1950’s.

ABOUT REID: Reid Mihalko of www.ReidAboutSex.com helps people create more self-esteem and greater health in their relationship and sex lives, no matter what their self-expression of those happen to be.

Reid has worked with thousands of individuals from myriad walks of life, orientations, relationship styles, countries and religions. Known for his charisma, wit and emphasis on integrity, Reid travels the country teaching, coaching, consulting and collaborating. He has been a writer and producer on a number of films and television projects about sex and relationships, and appears regularly in the media.

Reid has been a featured speaker at dozens of conferences on relationships and sexuality. He has also appeared on the Emmy award-winning talk show Montel, Fox News, VH1’s Scott Baio is 45 and Single, Showtime’s Penn & Teller’s Bulls**t!, Canada’s The Sex Files and SexTV, and the short-lived Life & Style, on NPR, Sirius’ Maxim Radio and Cosmo Radio, and in Marie Claire, GQ, Details, People, Newsweek and The National Enquirer, as well as media across the globe in thirteen countries and at least seven languages.

Calling All Poly Leaders! Don’t Miss Your Opportunity to Get Things Accomplished!

Please join us in Philadelphia for the 3rd National Polyamory Leadership Summit

2009’s summit got us off to a roaring start! We had nearly 50 attendees from all across the country. We generated amazing amounts of information and tons of exciting ideas. We also planted the seeds and began building bonds and relationships that would carry polyamory awareness into the next decade.

2010 is the year we water these seeds, leverage 2009’s relationships and begin to implement, integrate and make progress!

Deadline to Register is February 15^th
Summit Attendance is 60-70 people maximum!
Don’t get shut out! RSVP today!

Facilitated by ReidAboutSex.com’s prolific Reid Mihalko, this year’s summit promises to be one of the most productive, least formal and fun one’s yet!

Don’t miss you chance to get involved, get things done, and make a difference!

Location:
Holiday Inn, Fort Washington, PA (suburban Philadelphia)

• Evening of Sunday, February 21 - 8pm till Midnite (directly following the Poly Living Conference , and Reid guarantees he’s got fun things in store to kick off the productivity!)
  
• All day Monday, February 22 - 9am to 5pm

“This year’s Polyamory Leadership Summit is about leveraging and implementing! While we’re going to play hard and have the most fun we can, be prepared to work! 2010 is the year we create results!”

~Reid Mihalko, this year’s Poly Living Conference keynote and 2010’s Polyamory Leadership Summit facilitator

Cost:  $60 BEFORE deadline.

$75 in-person.

The National Polyamory Leadership Group is a collaborative group of polyamory community leaders from around the U.S. who have come together to carry the polyamory movement forward. The group advocates for the interests of all who self-identify as polyamorous regardless of age, gender, race, religion, sexual orientation or political point of view.

The intention of this year’s leadership summit is:

• To honor and improve on what we’ve accomplished in the last two years.
• To rejuvenate ourselves.
• To deepen our connections and bonds with other poly leaders.
• To help the poly and poly-curious find support and resources!

All participants, for this summit are expected to commit to the following:

• To show up ready to work, connect, and frolic.
• To say No when you are a No, Yes when you are a Yes, and No when you are a Maybe.
• To contribute –if you’re a Yes- what you do best to the group.
• To take on nothing that you aren’t already good at.
• To take on nothing that you aren’t excited and inspired by.
• To collaborate with others in an honest and productive manner, which includes keeping conflict to a minimum and avoiding it entirely whenever possible, as well as not placing personal agendas ahead of these two inquires during the summit: How can we better help poly people? How can we better help poly-curious folk?

If these intentions do not excite you, or you cannot agree to the above expectations, Reid respectfully asks that you not attend this year’s leadership summit.

Reid regrets that there will be no teleconferencing option this year. Apologies to last year’s awesome phone-in poly peeps! Get to Philly if you can!

Requirements for Participation:
Purchase a ticket. Show up. Work hard. Play hard.

Payment of the participation fee by February 15, 2009

No Survey to fill out this year. Get your ticket. Get your butt to Philly.

Attending the Poly Living Conference is appreciated, but is not a prerequisite to attend the leadership summit.

If you’re passionate about Polyamory and Consentual Non-Monogamy, are a leader in your community –Or want to be!- then get thy butt to Philadelphia for the 3^rd National Polyamory Leadership Summit! Reid and the rest of the Poly Community wants YOU!

If video killed the radio star, will the internet be the death of somatic sex education?

• How does someone go from almost becoming a Jesuit priest to getting a group of strangers naked, releasing their sexual shame and embracing pleasure as a communal experience?
• Ever wonder who started the idea that gay men could gather for intentional, heart-felt, genital massages that lasted for hours instead of furtive, bathhouse quickies?
• What’s the connection between hand jobs and finger banging and spirituality?
• If sex is healing, how and what does sex “heal,” and do I have to be a shaman to do it?
• What’s all this talk about trace states, withholding orgasm, and heavy breathing?
• Who’s responsible for all these Certified Sexological Bodyworkers we’ve been hearing so much about and what is it, exactly, that they do?

Curious? Well, Reid is too! Let’s find out together, shall we?

Join Reid Mihalko for a rare opportunity:

a candid evening with erotic massage pioneer

and somatic sexological educator

Joseph Kramer PhD.

Whether you’re a sex history geek with a desire to trace movements back to their source or you’re simply looking to expand your own erotic sense of self, stop wondering and join Reid at San Fran’s Center for Sex and Culture for what is going to be an amazing dialogue and interview!

Date: Wed, Feb 24th, 2010
Time: 7:30-9:30pm Pacific (Doors open at 7pm.)
Where: San Francisco’s Center for Sex and Culture
1519 Mission Street @ 11th and S. Van Ness, SF, CA 94103

Eavesdrop in on this intimate, one-on-one conversation. Participate in the Q&A period, and ask Joseph your questions. Meet Joseph and Reid, and mingle with like-minded, sex positive men and women. Come experience one of the great pioneers of erotic education!

$10 suggested donation.
No one turned away for lack of funds.

This event will be filmed and begins promptly at 7:30pm.
Please arrive early to get a seat. This event will fill up!

ABOUT JOSEPH KRAMER: Somatic sexologist Joseph Kramer is director of  The New School of Erotic Touch, an online resource to support erotic practice.  Joseph believes that most adult sex education classes are scams. Self-proclaimed sex teachers and erotic healers have been getting away with offering expensive spiritual hand jobs and communal group gropes for too long because of the incredible hunger for erotic embodiment in folks today.  One of the benefits of this severe recession is that ineffective sex educators who don’t have a clue about how people actually learn sex are in economic crises.  (Thank you, Darwin.)  Joseph Kramer trains professional Orgasmic Yoga Coaches and Sexological Bodyworkers.  His specialty is somatic learning theory–how people learn sex.  His next Bay Area training is a communal exploration for embodied men starting Feb 27,28 in how to benefit from erotic trance states using Taoist Erotic Massage.  More information at www.eroticpractice.com.

ABOUT REID: Reid Mihalko of www.ReidAboutSex.com helps people create more self-esteem and greater health in their relationship and sex lives, no matter what their self-expression of those happen to be.

Reid has worked with thousands of individuals from myriad walks of life, orientations, relationship styles, countries and religions. Known for his charisma, wit and emphasis on integrity, Reid travels the country teaching, coaching, consulting and collaborating. He has been a writer and producer on a number of films and television projects about sex and relationships, and appears regularly in the media.

Reid has been a featured speaker at dozens of conferences on relationships and sexuality. He has also appeared on the Emmy award-winning talk show Montel, Fox News, VH1’s Scott Baio is 45 and Single, Showtime’s Penn & Teller’s Bulls**t!, Canada’s The Sex Files and SexTV, and the short-lived Life & Style, on NPR, Sirius’ Maxim Radio and Cosmo Radio, and in Marie Claire, GQ, Details, People, Newsweek and The National Enquirer, as well as media across the globe in thirteen countries and at least seven languages.

The Ins and Outs of Hand Sex (workshop)
An Entertaining and Revealing Night of Sex Education with Amy Jo Goddard and Reid Mihalko

DATE: Wed, Feb 17th
TIME: 7-9:30pm EST
LOCATION: Sexy Spirits, 301 West 55 Street, #4 NYC

Do you wish you had more tricks and know-how when it comes to using your hands on your lovers? Feel confident when it comes to your usual “hand-jive” routine but want to add a few new surprises in your bag of tricks? Perhaps you get good grades from your sex partners when it comes to love making but their genitalia and erogenous zones still mystify you?

In today’s “Insert Tab A into Slot B”-centric culture, Hand Sex is one of the most overlooked and untapped sources of pleasure. And unlike your standard “go-to” sex equipment, God gave most of us two hands with five digits each, which, when you do the math, equals way more than just doubling your pleasure!

Join world renowned sex and relationship educator Reid Mihalko and author of Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men, Amy Jo Goddard, for an entertaining, low pressure and informative workshop on how to make love to men and women using your hands.

In this 2.5-hour workshop, complete with live demonstrations where all you have to do is watch and ask questions, Reid and Amy Jo will cover:

• How you can transform your hands into one of your best sexual assets!
• Ways to utilize the millions of nerves in your fingers to “listen” to and track your partner’s sexual response so you can access better information and make him or her squeal
• Several of Amy Jo’s “best practices” for accessing and stimulating a woman’s erogenous zones
• Reid’s best kept secret of Hand Sex: how to use pressure and your own body weight to drive your partner crazy!
• How to take the sexual equipment you were born with (and are probably most familiar with) and map out what you already know onto someone else’s plumbing so you don’t have to think!
• G-Spot, P-Spot, the Reach Around and the Finger Bang made easy!
• Safer Sex hand hygiene so you can go mano y mano with confidence…
• Ways to use verbal communication during love-making so that your partners can better relax and leave their pleasure, literally, “in your hands”

You don’t have to go to medical school to have the hands of a surgeon and you don’t have to be born a lesbian to know how to use your hands!

Reid Mihalko and Amy Jo Goddard answer audience questions and get ready for the show and tell portion of the workshop (with a little generous help from their friend!)

Whether you are a man or a woman, and no matter what your age, gender or sexual preference, masterfully making love to another with your hands can be a huge turn-on and self-esteem boost. Not to mention that Hand Sex is one of the best fall-back plans (or savvy, lead-with tactics) to have at the ready when the rest of you is worn out or incapacitated, or you’re just looking to roll up your sleeves and spice things up!

Let your fingers learn how to do the walking and join Reid and Amy Jo for this Rated NC-17 workshop for adults.

Note: This workshop contains explicit and often humorous sex education (Seriously, adult language and sexual demonstrations will be included. We promise!).

DATE: Wed, Feb 17th, 2010
TIME: 7-9:30pm EST
LOCATION: Sexy Spirits, 301 West 55 Street, #4 NYC
COST:
$30 per person
$25 student discount, and $25 each for couples
$20 per person for groups of three or more!

Other Reid Valentine’s related workshops…
Feb 12th - Romance for the Jaded New Yorker and the Newly In Love!
Feb 13th - Single’s Only Cuddle Party
Feb 13th - Dating: The Reality and the Illusion… (And the Wine Tasting Meet Up, too!)
Feb 14th - Iron Slut Sex Educator Showdown Slams Providence, RI!

ABOUT AMY JO: Amy Jo Goddard is a sexuality educator & trainer, writer, performing artist and activist. She travels to colleges, universities, communities and conferences teaching workshops and speaking about sexuality and maintains a private sex coaching practice. She is co-author of Lesbian Sex Secrets for Men and is a contributing author of All About Sex: A Family Resource Guide on Sex and Sexuality. Her article about queer performance artists and activism was published in 2007 in the Social Justice Journal and she has been published in numerous other publications including LOFT and Bust Magazine. Amy Jo was host of CherryBomb.com’s web stream program “Fresh Advice,” developing, researching, writing and performing over 60 episodes on women’s sexuality.

A professional trainer of sexuality professionals, medical students, college students and youth for fifteen years, she has taught courses relating to sexuality at the City University of New York and the University of California at Santa Barbara. Amy Jo has taught breast and pelvic exams to medical/nursing students for 8 years and she is director/producer of the forthcoming documentary, At Your Cervix, a film that depicts this unusual work.

She is launching an intensive 6-month sexuality empowerment apprenticeship for women in New York City.

Amy Jo can be found on the internet at: www.amyjogoddard.com and www.atyourcervixmovie.com

ABOUT REID: Reid Mihalko helps people create more self-esteem and greater health in their relationship and sex lives, no matter what their self-expression of those happen to be or where their interests lie.

Reid has worked with thousands of individuals from myriad walks of life, orientations, relationship styles, countries and religions. Known for his charisma, wit and emphasis on integrity, Reid travels the country teaching, coaching, consulting and collaborating. He has been a writer and producer on a number of film and television projects about sex and relationships, and appears regularly in the media.

Reid has been a featured speaker at dozens of conferences on relationships and sexuality. He has also appeared on the Emmy award-winning talk show Montel, Fox News, VH1’s Scott Baio is 45 and Single, Showtime’s Penn & Teller’s Bulls**t!, Canada’s The Sex Files and SexTV, and the short-lived Life & Style, on NPR, Sirius’ Maxim Radio and Cosmo Radio, and in Marie Claire, GQ, People, Newsweek and The National Enquirer, as well as media across the globe in thirteen countries and at least seven languages.

Cuddle Party creator, Reid Mihalko, to lead weekend-long intensive for anyone wanting to facilitate workshops and/or Cuddle Parties!

Chicago, IL • June 25-27th, 2010

Open-to-the-Public Cuddle Party Friday night!

• Are you a workshop facilitator looking to enhance your facilitation kung-fu?
• Do you lead groups or create experiences for people that focus on, explore or involve intimacy and trust?
• Are you interested in leading Cuddle Parties or creating and running your workshops like Reid Mihalko runs his?
• Curious about how Reid and Marcia Baczynski have managed to train their growing organization of 50+ Cuddle Party facilitators across five countries and three continents in less than 5 years?

If you’re a Yes to any of the above questions,
come spend the weekend with Reid!

Foundations of Facilitation Training, created by world renowned sex educators Reid Mihalko and Marcia Baczynski, is a weekend-long intensive program designed to provide you with the skills you need to create powerful, transformative workshops. Created by the inventors of Cuddle Party, this training will provide you with the tools you need to enhance your confidence, create new depth to your presentations, and improve your ability to create relatedness with just about anyone. Whether you are new to running events for groups, or have been facilitating for years, this interactive, hands-on training has much to offer.

“I took my first facilitator training 30 years ago, and it’s been a long, long time since I learned so much in one weekend.” — Ankha, Minnesota

Over the course of the weekend, you will learn how to:

• create safe, non-sexual space to explore intimacy on both a personal and professional level
• lead workshops that leave your participants feeling touched, open, valued and nurtured
• generate an environment where women and men communicate more authentically
• listen profoundly
• create a powerful relatedness with strangers quickly and easily
• be more open to others and able to give and receive comfortably
• create strong boundaries for yourself without shutting others down

You will also learn:

• tools for building a strong, intimate community
• advanced tools for handling rejection
• communication techniques that open people up to discuss intimacy, desires, fears and needs

Foundations of Facilitation has trained over 200 men and women. They have consistently rated FoF as one of the best training workshops available… and these workshop junkies, facilitator black belts and self-help gurus know workshops!

“Most training weekends of this kind cost nearly a $1000. The Foundations of Facilitation training weekend is only $495 and comes with my money-back guarantee if you aren’t satisfied. So what have you got to loose? Come to Atlanta, Georgia, and spend it with me!”

~Reid

Whether you simply want to enhance your own leadership skills or become a certified Cuddle Party Facilitator, this is one weekend you won’t want to miss. Join us for one of our upcoming 2010 FoF training weekends:

Jan 22-24, 2010 in Atlanta (area), GA - lead by Len Daley
Feb 26-28, 2010 in Oakland, CA - lead by Reid Mihalko and Marcia Baczynski
June 25-27, 2010 in Chicago, IL - lead by Reid Mihalko

Can’t get to an FoF this year? Virtual Training Options are available for qualified candidates overseas. Go to FoundationsofFacilitation.org for more info on who to contact!

Change people’s lives. REGISTER NOW for Foundations of Facilitation Training. For more information, visit the training schedule or our Training FAQ.

“I encourage anyone with a hankering to become a CP facilitator to take the leap and DO IT!  It has been one of my greatest joys for the past 3 years…after all, how many people can say that they come to work in their p’j’s, get paid to touch and be touched and it’s legal?  <3″

— Edie Weinstein, Philledelphia, PA

“Of all the workshops I’ve attended, the [Foundations of Facilitation] Training has given me the most practical and useful tools to create and maintain direct, open and honest communication with EVERYONE in my life DAILY.”

— Tracy, Alabama