Let Reid Mihalko help you figure out “how to figure out” (and how to communicate) what you need to make your relationships work best!

No matter whether your single, dating, married, monogamous or polyamorous, if you don’t know what works for you and how to communicate it, you’re in for trouble….

If you haven’t a clue what your boundaries are, if you “kinda know ‘em” but could use some more clarity, or if you know them but don’t know how to put them into words, this 2-hours is for you!

Join sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko of ReidAboutSex.com for a humorous and pragmatic, PG-13 rated, 2-hours of relationship negotiation made simple. Learn black belt relationship skills in how to figure out what your needs are in love and romance, the needs of your partners, and how to put it all into words!

Date: Friday,  13th, 2010
Time: 7-9pm
Location: The Sharma Center
Cost: $15 pre-register, $20 at the door
Due to the center’s limited space (40 people tops!), the address is only given out after you RSVP • Please RSVP for all Sharma Center Events at rsvp@sharmacenter.org • Please call on the day of the event 206-898-5876 for availability if you haven’t RSVP’d.

ABOUT REID: Reid Mihalko of www.ReidAboutSex.com helps people create more self-esteem and greater health in their relationship and sex lives, no matter what their self-expression of those happen to be.

Reid has worked with thousands of individuals from myriad walks of life, orientations, relationship styles, countries and religions. Known for his charisma, wit and emphasis on integrity, Reid travels the country teaching, coaching, consulting and collaborating. He has been a writer and producer on a number of films and television projects about sex and relationships, and appears regularly in the media.

Reid has been a featured speaker at dozens of conferences on relationships and sexuality. He has also appeared on the Emmy award-winning talk show Montel, Fox News, VH1’s Scott Baio is 45 and Single, Showtime’s Penn & Teller’s Bulls**t!, Canada’s The Sex Files and SexTV, and the short-lived Life & Style, on NPR, Sirius’ Maxim Radio and Cosmo Radio, and in Marie Claire, GQ, Details, People, Newsweek and The National Enquirer, as well as media across the globe in thirteen countries and at least seven languages.

Get schooled in how to get schools with two of the busiest sexperts in the biz’ness!

• Are you a sex educator who’s interested in bringing your offerings to colleges and universities?
• Feeling the recession crunch in your self-promoted workshops and events and wishing someone would pay you to just show up and teach?
• Passionate about reaching college-aged adults but don’t know how?
• Dreaming of traveling around the country getting paid to do what you do best?
• Wish you could book paid speaking gigs in your area of expertise but not sure who to contact or where to start?
• Feeling envious of all the other workshop leaders and authors who’re traveling around the country getting paid to teach?

If you’re a yes to any of the above questions, this one day workshop is for you! Part brain-dump, part brainstorming session, all fun and information: Reid and Megan are going to download and share everything they know about booking paying gigs at colleges, organizations and stores!

Join sex and relationship educators (and gig booking experts) Reid Mihalko and Megan Andeloux (who’ve booked hundreds of paid gigs combined) for 3-hours focusing on how you can take your workshops, teaching and public speaking to the next level: Getting schools and organizations to pay you to show up and speak to rooms they fill for you!

Face it, it’s hard organizing, promoting, hosting and running your own events. Why not get organizations to pay you to show up and share what you’re passionate about!

In this 3-hour, evening workshop (with after-party), Reid and Megan will cover:

• How teaching and speaking at schools, organizations and stores works and why you should be considering doing it.
• What to expect, what to charge, and what not to do.
• Who to speak to, how to find them, and what to say to book a paid gig.
• What you should have on your website to book a gig and why.
• Things you can do to figure out if you’re ready to bring your work to colleges and universities.
• Some of Reid and Megan’s “Best of” and “Worst of” stories from teaching gigs, so you don’t have to reinvent the wheel!

During this workshop Reid and Megan will also mentor and lead you through brainstorming what you can do next to begin or upgrade the paid teaching gig part of your business!

Reid and a group of delighted college students after presenting one of his first ever "Stand-Up Sex Ed" comedy talks, which was to a packed room of over 200 students!

Date: July 21st
Time: 7-10pm with wrap party from 10-Midnite
Where: Reid’s workshop space in Oakland – 1080 23rd Ave, Ste. 110, Oakland 94606
Cost: Online Pre-pay: $99 per person, 2 for $89 each, 3somes and moresomes for $79; Day-off price: $120 per person at the Door
Wrap-Party from 10-Midnite. Free!

1-Person – $99 online, Early-Bird discount!

2-People – $89 Each! (Online price only)

3-people – $79 Each! (Online price only)

Groups larger than 3, contact Reid at reid (at) reidaboutsex.com
Take advantage of online, Early-Bird registration! At the door price day of event: $120

Can’t make the workshop, but you’re a sex educator, workshop leader, teacher or some other sex-positive professional? Come at 10pm for our workshop wrap-party and sex-positive community gathering. BYOB and snacks to share, and it’s free!

Megan Andelloux: Megan Andelloux is a nationally certified sexuality educator through The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists and is a board certified sexologist through The American College of Sexologists. She is the founder and director of The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, a sexuality resource center located in Pawtucket, RI.

Ms. Andelloux has worked full-time in the field of Sexual Education for more than 12 years.  She is an Instructor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at Boston University School of Medicine and lectures internationally at colleges, universities, medical schools, and sexuality institutions on issues surrounding sexual pleasure, sexual health, politics, and erotic justice. She developed the Gynecological Training Program for Boston University School of Medicine, and in addition works as a Gynecological Teaching Associate at medical institutions on the East coast.

Ms. Andelloux is a sought after media contributor for sexuality related issues in print, online, television and documentaries.  She is a regular contributor at www.carnalnation.com. and www.sexualhealth.com and is also an author in the book, We Got Issues, a Feminist Response to Cultural Attitudes On Feminism.

Reid Mihalko: Reid Mihalko of www.ReidAboutSex.com helps adults create more self-esteem, self-confidence and greater health in their relationships and sex lives, no matter what their self-expression of those happen to be.

From his rated-PG/PG-13 workshops (Cuddle Party, Speed-Flirting) to the rated-R (Iron Slut Sex Educator Showdown) to his explicit, NC-17 rated, Show-N-Tell sex education workshops (where audiences get to watch, take notes, and ask questions), Reid has worked with thousands of individuals from myriad walks of life, orientations, relationship styles, countries and religions. Known for his charisma, wit and emphasis on integrity, Reid travels the country teaching, coaching, consulting and collaborating on fulfilling his mission: Create more self-esteem, self-confidence and health adults in and out of the bedroom.

Reid has been a featured speaker at dozens of conferences on relationships and sexuality and is a sought-after presenter and teacher at colleges and sex positive stores across the country.

Reid has been a writer and producer on a number of films and television projects about sex and relationships, and appears regularly in the media. He has also appeared on the Emmy award-winning talk show Montel, Fox News, VH1’s Scott Baio is 45 and Single, Showtime’s Penn & Teller’s Bulls**t!, Canada’s The Sex Files and SexTV, and the short-lived Life & Style, on NPR, Sirius’ Maxim Radio and Cosmo Radio, and in Marie Claire, GQ, Details, People, Newsweek and The National Enquirer, as well as media across the globe in thirteen countries and at least seven languages.

A.K.A., How I Went From Cuddle Parties to NC17…

Cuddle Parties don’t overtly deal with sex. Nor should they. But what should?

In today’s touch starved culture, Cuddle Party was (and still is) doing a great job of giving people a sunggle-O-licious laboratory to practice the foundational communication skills that make the world safe for touch and affection. And the world could stand to be more cuddle-friendly.

Skills like asking for what you want, the ability to change one’s mind (and communicate it), and being able to say No without feeling guilty are just as important when you’re naked between the sheets as when you and your friends are pajama-clad, hug-deep in a puppy pile. And while Cuddle Party is an amazing, interactive experience where people become better communicators of their needs and boundaries and learn how to create more affection and nurturing touch in their lives, I had nowhere of my own to send people who wanted to increase their sexual confidence in a more direct manner.

Let’s face it, the communication needs are similar, but spooning isn’t the same as forking. I’d created Cuddle Party. What other workshops could I create to meet the needs of this emerging demographic?

The answer was: many. And I did.

Let’s face it, the communication needs are similar, but spooning isn’t the same as forking.

I dusted off my workshop designing skills and created the Romance Is For the Cats and Dogs, the workshop I wrote about in last month’s newsletter. I began collaborating with all the sex educators I respected and began producing workshops and teleclasses on a host of topics, everything from Understanding Men and Women to overcoming the Green-Eyed Monster of jealousy. I did a teleclass on How To End a Bad Relationship, for those of us stuck in relationship hell and desperate to foster change in our lives. Some workshops were issue specific, and others were focused on lovestyles and the various types of relationships and experiences you might be drawn to, like my offerings for people exploring polyamory or people curious about experiencing a ménage a trios.

Oh, Three! Three is The Magic Number!

It’s when I designed the Negotiating Successful Threesomes workshop (which lead to the Initiating Threesomes Teleclass), I came up with the idea that I could have volunteers from the audience role play the communication exercises with one another, and even help me create a fully clothed “Threesome Kama Sutra” on stage.

That’s when I had my first ah-ha moment!

Cuddly like Reid and Marcia? I don't think so!

Marcia Baczynski and I had been the Donnie and Marie Osmond of Cuddle Parties for nearly five years by then. I’d facilitated close to three-hundred and fifty Cuddle Parties, if not more, and had personally trained over a hundred men and women in the basics of how to facilitate Cuddle Parties. While being the Yoda of snuggling had honed my workshop facilitation and people skills to Jedi-like levels, I was itching to try new formats and topics. After five years worth of feedback and conversations with the thousands of Cuddle Party attendees, there was one thing that I noticed everyone was looking for regardless of whether is was an platonic hug or a steamy, romantic tryst: Everyone was looking for self-confidence.

After five years worth of feedback and conversations with the thousands of Cuddle Party attendees, there was one thing that I noticed everyone was looking for regardless of whether is was an platonic hug or a steamy, romantic tryst: Everyone was looking for self-confidence.

Self-esteem and confidence make us feel better. Feeling better about ourselves impacts those we love. They feel more safe and relaxed, which improves our interactions whether it’s at the breakfast table or in the bedroom.

When I set out to design workshops that weren’t Cuddle Party-related, I asked myself: What’s a common situation most folks have thought about once or twice. that seems incredibly daunting, which is also ripe with opportunities for awkward situations and clumsy mis-communications? The answer: Threesomes!

The ménage a trios provided the perfect workshop topic: The allure was there in that most folks have fantasized or at least wondered about ‘em, self-confidence was low in that most folks would probably admit to feeling less than equipped for initiating a successful three-way, and the communication skills needed to allow anyone to successfully explore such a fantasy are exactly the same ones we talk about in Cuddle Party… Bingo! I had my first workshop topic for teaching sexual self-confidence.

But how best to do that? Hmmmmm… Talking at an audience would be useful, but boring. A Power Point presentation might help, but still lacked the interactiveness that makes Cuddle Party so powerful for folks. “I couldn’t make a workshop on threesomes interactive,” I thought, “Or could I?”

Given my goofy, humorous sensibilities, and that lack-of-confidence in any situation leaves we humans prone to clumsiness and the dreaded “awkward moment,” the most powerful, interactive choice for a threesome works shop was to role play! Why not invite the audience to demonstrate exercises in a safe and humorous way, with my help, in front of the room?

Negotiating any fantasy is awkward, so let’s not hide it. Instead, let’s flaunt the awkwardness!

Negotiating any fantasy is awkward, so let’s not hide it. Instead, let’s flaunt the awkwardness! It was definitely more risqué and risky than Cuddle Party, but that would actually help. It would allow people to have their learning curves, to have fun with their nervous energy, and to laugh together as a group at how the road to great sex is often paved with silliness and awkward moments. And, like Cuddle Party, no one gets naked.

So, we gave the role playing exercises a test drive, and, boy, it was a hit!

Reid at Brown University in Providence, RI, illustrating how awkward (and funny) breaking the ice during romantic situations can be at his R-rated "Sex Educator Showdown."

Not only did we laugh ourselves silly, audience participation taught me that risqué can be not only fun, but safe as well! Titillating subject matter sprinkled with fully clothed audience participation demonstrations was an amazing education combo that was safe and popular. I no longer had to keeping things PG-rated to keep things safe.

The R-rated Reid Mihalko workshop was born!

People got so much out of watching and participating in this R-rated format full of games and exercises, that I created more. After Negotiating Successful Threesomes came The Full-Body Kiss, Clothes-On Sex!, and Bachelorette Sex Ed 101, to name a few.

The more I created and taught my R-rated workshops and heard the feedback from the participants, the more certain I became of the need for explicit education. It wasn’t that Cuddle Party’s PG-rating or an R-rated workshop were missing anything. Nothing was broken. There is a need for non-nudity, non-sexual workshops; however, once again around the area of sexual self-confidence, I saw the chance to deliver a particular type of learning opportunity…

Monkey See; Monkey Slam, Bam, Thank You, Ma’am!

It’s one thing for sex educators to talk about sex or show you pictures and graphs on a projector screen. It’s another thing entirely when sex educators show you how to do something, and invite you to ask questions… Especially when it’s not demonstrated on a piece of fruit, but on a real, live person!

The fruit laden Carmen Miranda in the Busby Berkeley directed THE GANG'S ALL HERE (1943).

Human beings are very much wired with a “monkey see, monkey do” mentality. Many of us learn best by watching. Because we are not allowed to learn about sex from watching others, our culture has turned to porn for tips and tricks in the sack.

With the ease and proliferation of free porn on the interwebs, now more than ever, porn is influencing how we behave behind closed doors (or in the back seat of our parent’s SUV). The problem with porn, in my opinion, isn’t that people are watching it; it’s that people are using porn as a How-To medium.

Watching porn isn’t the same as watching a qualified sex educator role model great communication techniques, ask permission, check in with their partner, get verbal permission from them before touching them, and then properly put a condom on while encouraging the spectators to ask questions.

The problem with porn, in my opinion, isn’t that people are watching it; it’s that people are using porn as a How-To medium.

There are several things when it comes to helping people learn about sex that are actually more easily learned if I show you the technique on a living, breathing human being and you can watch and ask us questions – an audience gets to see what “real sex” looks like. They can pick up the subtle nuances that aren’t always visible in pornography’s tightly choreographed and edited product. The more real the sex, the easier it is to grasp and transfer that feeling good and being respectful and safe has little to do with DD breasts, 12-inch cocks and squirting orgasms.

Yes, it’s a bit unorthodox by today’s standards to invite adults into a room to learn how to be a better lover by watching explicit, live demonstrations, but the simple fact is that even just talking openly about sex and intimacy in an honest and vulnerable manner is not the norm. There is so much work to be done! And there aren’t a lot of sex educators teaching explicit workshops.

Sex and relationship experts Reid Mihalko and Amy Jo Goddard in New York City about to do some demos during their popular, NC17-rated workshop, "The Ins and Outs of Hand Sex."

Great sex, for me, is 90% communication, and even when I’m teaching a technique-heavy, explicit workshop like The Ins and Outs of Hand Sex, I’m constantly trying to pass along and role model excellent communication techniques. Asking a banana for permission to put on a condom on it is actually counter productive to what I’m trying to convey in that there’s a subtle message of shame and sex-negativism: It’s bad for me to show you the real scenario happening on the Real McCoy, so here’s a piece of fruit.

With a range of workshop content spanning the gamut – PG and PG-13, to R-rated, all the way to NC17 Show-N-Tell demonstrations – adults can self-select what they’re ready for and what they’re interested in. And throughout all of it, they’re getting great role modeling for how we can all be better communicators in our lives.

Reid with a few of the super psyched students of Green Mountain College in Vermont, after his R-rated stand-up comedy/workshop on consent and boundary setting.

It is my belief that, through the process of integrating great communication tools in and out of the bedroom, we can all foster greater self-care and more self-esteem in our lives. That self-care and self-esteem gives the people in our lives permission to take care of themselves, to have and honor their own needs and boundaries, and to embrace their own self-respect and esteem. They, in turn, influence, role model and set an example for the people in their spheres of influence, upping the level of self-confidence in themselves and their communities…

And that’s how I went from creating the non-sexual, communication workshop Cuddle Party to leading NC17-rated workshops like The Ins and Outs of Handsex.

Hope to see you at a workshop sometime!

Reid and a gaggle of San Diegoans hamming it up after Reid's laughter-filled, R-rated, safer-sex workshop, "Dildos, Dental Dams, and Deep Throating!"

Can’t get to one of Reid’s workshops? Bring him to you! – Click HERE for more info.

Can’t bring him to you? Download one of Reid’s many teleclasses HERE!

No date for Valentine’s Day? No problemo!

Come meet Cuddle Party creator Reid Mihalko and as well as a whole bunch of amazing, single New Yorkers in one of our biggest Cuddle Party events of the year.

More than 10,000 women and men in cities all across America have show up and were delighted with their experience…

What will you learn?
Who will you meet!
How big will your smile be?

• Take the sting out of Cupid’s arrow
• Expand your social network
• Have some fun
• Learn and practice how to say No and not feel guilty
• Practice changing you mind – a valuable future skill for when you’re stuck in the middle of your next bad date!

Cuddling isn’t mandatory EVER at a Cuddle Party,
but being single for this event IS…

EARLY-BIRD SAVINGS and GROUP DISCOUNTS avail while they last, so order your tickets for by FEB 1st and SAVE!!

“Your first Cuddle Party was like finding some long-lost love medicine among the culturally accepted remedies that generally promote unhealthy attitudes…”
~Elaine, New York City

Read More Testimonials

Join Reid Mihalko for this playful communication workshop guranteed to take the sting out of Cupid’s arrow! Who knows, you might even meet someone! Seriously, tell everyone and come escape from the cold for a snuggl-o-licious time with a bunch of other cuddly singles!

DATE: Saturday, February 13th, 2010
TIME: 2:30-6pm EST
LOCATION: Reflections Yoga in Times Square
250 West 49th Street, 2nd floor, Times Square 10019

For more info about Cuddle Party, please go to www.cuddleparty.com

ABOUT REID: Reid Mihalko, co-creator of Cuddle Party, helps people create more self-esteem and greater health in their relationship and sex lives, no matter what their self-expression of those happen to be or where their interests lie. Reid has worked with thousands of individuals from myriad walks of life, orientations, relationship styles, countries and religions. Known for his charisma, wit and emphasis on integrity, Reid travels the country teaching, coaching, consulting and collaborating. He has been a writer and producer on a number of film and television projects about sex and relationships, and appears regularly in the media. Reid has been a featured speaker at dozens of conferences on relationships and sexuality. He has also appeared on the Emmy award-winning talk show Montel, Fox News, VH1’s Scott Baio is 45 and Single, Showtime’s Penn & Teller’s Bulls**t!, Canada’s The Sex Files and SexTV, and the short-lived Life & Style, on NPR, Sirius’ Maxim Radio and Cosmo Radio, and in Marie Claire, GQ, People, Newsweek and The National Enquirer, as well as media across the globe in thirteen countries and at least seven languages.

Let Reid help you make Valentine’s Day suck a lot less this year, and maybe forever!

You’re a New Yorker. You live in one of the greatest, most diverse metropolitan areas on the face of the planet. You are surrounded by millions of people every day… And yet, there’s a decent chance you fall into one of two categories:

• Valentine’s Day in NYC either makes you want to jump off a bridge or has you skipping down the subway stairs at Rush Hour!
• You’re still dating online (and it feels like the Spanish Inquisition) or you’re newly in love (and boinking each other’s brains out every chance)!
• The sight of a dozen roses inspires violent thoughts or it reminds you of your loved one’s fragrant breath…

Whether you’re a jaded New Yorker and Feb 14th has you throwing up a little in your mouth, or you’re newly in love and scrambling to Victoria Secrets for something pink, many of us can’t easily explain what “being romantic” actually is.

We know it when someone is romantic to us. We know we score big points when we’re romantic to someone else. However, teaching someone how to be romantic or how best to romance us is way more complicated than exchanging cards and a teddy bears once a year. Let’s face it: for a relationship to last more than one date, let alone 20-years, Hallmark and Hollywood suck at giving us blackbelt level skills.

Because so many of us fail when it comes to romance or finding someone who’s “romantic enough,” our dating lives and relationships fall short. For the “freshly in love,” the endorphins and warm fuzzies of new relationships have a shelf-life and, once the honeymoon period fades, most can’t keep the romance alive.

How can you tell if someone is good at romance from one date and if they’ll continue to be romantic a year from now? Can you teach an old dog new tricks? Is long-term romance even possible? How can you use romance to strengthen your relationships with others and even with one’s self?

Join sex and relationship educator Reid Mihalko for a playful (and illuminating) two hours of discussion, exercises, and romance just in time for Valentine’s!

Together, we’ll break down and answer such vexing questions as…

• What the hell does she mean when she says, ‘Be more romantic?’
• How can I tell when someone is a romantic looser and what do I do about it?
• What’s the best way to romance a man?
• What are the sure-fire ways to romance a woman?
• How can I make my partner be more romantic?
• What do we do when the flame begins to fade?
• And… Oh god, what am I going to do for Valentine’s Day?!

Whether you’re currently single or celebrating your Gold Anniversary, this workshop is for you! Whatever your orientation, age, cultural background, or experience level, if you’re having problems with dating or the relationship you’re already in… If you need some last minute ideas for Valentine’s Day, or want to bring more passion, tenderness or mystique into your relationships as a daily practice… If you’ve never been to a workshop before or you’re a complete junkie, this entertaining and informative experience will leave you laughing and inspired.

Bring a date, bring a friend, and arm yourself with tools, tips, and tricks to make your entire life more romantic!

DATE: Friday, Feb 12, 2010
TIME: 7pm-9pm
PLACE: Times Square’s Reflections Yoga, 250 West 49th Street, 2nd Floor, Times Square, New York

Group Rates and Cupid’s Early-Bird Discounts available… Save BIG when you pre-pay!

Other upcoming Reid Valentine’s Worshops…

Feb 13th - Single’s Only Cuddle Party
Feb 13th – Dating: The Reality and the Illusion… (And the Wine Tasting Meet Up, too!)
Feb 14th – Iron Slut Sex Educator Showdown Slams Providence, RI!
Feb 17th – The Ins and Outs of Hand-Sex with Amy Jo Goddard

Questions? Email Reid at reid@reidaboutsex.com

ABOUT REID: Reid Mihalko helps people create more self-esteem and greater health in their relationship and sex lives, no matter what their self-expression of those happen to be or where their interests lie.

Reid has worked with thousands of individuals from myriad walks of life, orientations, relationship styles, countries and religions. Known for his charisma, wit and emphasis on integrity, Reid travels the country teaching, coaching, consulting and collaborating. He has been a writer and producer on a number of film and television projects about sex and relationships, and appears regularly in the media.

Reid has been a featured speaker at dozens of conferences on relationships and sexuality. He has also appeared on the Emmy award-winning talk show Montel, Fox News, VH1’s Scott Baio is 45 and Single, Showtime’s Penn & Teller’s Bulls**t!, Canada’s The Sex Files and SexTV, and the short-lived Life & Style, on NPR, Sirius’ Maxim Radio and Cosmo Radio, and in Marie Claire, GQ, People, Newsweek and The National Enquirer, as well as media across the globe in thirteen countries and at least seven languages.

Many thanks for what we accomplished together this year…

Hey, gang!

Impending New Year’s greetings from Northern California where I’m holed up in a cabin with some close friends gearing up to ring in the New Year… Today we close ‘09 and open up ‘10… ‘010? 2010! You get the picture…

Even though this is my vacation, as the early morning mists creep up the hill through the surrounding Red Wood trees, I’ve been slipping out of bed, tip toeing to the coffee maker and brewing a heaping pot o’ the morning joe. As the rest of the house sleeps, after adding my Bailey’s, I grab my coffee and my laptop to log in a few hours of work as is my workaholic routine (which, btw, happens to be a good thing when you’re an entrepreneur sex and relationship educator as I am!). I’ve learned that a few hours of calendaring, writing, website updating, and the reading other’s blogs allows me to relax the rest of the day. And so it is…

This morning, I am reminded by how so very blessed I am to be able to do what I do, and it’s because of YOU that I get to do it. So, before the world kicks off another year, I wanted to thank you for accompanying me on my journey in 2009.

Whether this is the first time you’ve visited my website or the 100th time… Whether you’ve just signed up for my newsletter, downloaded your first podcast, attended a dozen workshops, or hired me for relationship coaching… It all boils down to this: my world doesn’t work without your support and participation. So, during these last moments of 2009, I send you MUCH, MUCH GRATITUDE for helping me making this a break out year for ReidAboutSex.

I hope you got as much out of 2009 as I did. This was a HUGELY busy year for me and, in looking back over the last 12-months, it seemed appropriate to summarize and share what we accomplished this year.

Thusly, our year in review, the highlights…

I kicked off 2009 by launching the first of many of my more “edgy” workshops and many people turned out for ‘em!

Having recently turned Cuddle Party, the G-Rated, pop-culture phenomenon communication (even SNL did a skit on us) workshop about nonsexual affection and social intimacy that launched my career, into a non-profit (not that it was making a profit – insert snare-drum ba-dump-bump!), I was free to venture into more salacious sex ed territory without damaging Cuddle Party’s sterling reputation. Following my instincts would eventually lead to me creating a rating system for my workshops analogous to the film and television industries’ rating system.

The first of my edgier offerings would be the playful and salacious Negotiating Successful Threesomes (With Live Demonstrations!) at San Francisco’s Center for Sex and Culture.

The first of my R-Rated workshops, Negotiating Successful Threesomes was designed to have – shock! gasp! – “live demonstrations!” The demos consisted of friends of mine (and later on, audience volunteers) acting out fully-clothed versions out of my Threesome Kama Sutra along with practicing the communicating and ice-breaking tools and techniques that the workshop delves into. It was a huge success and so much fun that I immediately turned up the heat and began considering what my first NC-17 Rated workshop would be. That workshop wouldn’t launch for another few months…

2009 was also the year that February 13th, the day before St. Valentine’s Day, just happened to be a Friday… The combination of Friday the 13th falling before Valentine’s Day inspired me to declare every Friday the 13th, National End a Bad Relationship Day!

Sometimes, the first step in creating the relationship of your dreams is to end the nightmare relationship you’re currently in, so I held a teleclass on how to break up with panaché.

On the website front, I finally began the reorganization of the ReidAboutSex website. The first step was to begin gathering all the disparate posts and announcements and herding all of my free products and podcasts onto one easy-to-click on page of FREE Reid Stuff… One of the fun parts was dusting off my art school degree, double-clicking on my copy of Adobe Photoshop and designing a few eye-grabbing buttons to promote things. This would become the eventual home of podcasts Women Who Give Too Much with Diana Adams, and the hugely popular Energetic Sex: From Mystical to Practical podcast.

March would find me kicking off the first teaching trip of the year, landing me in our nation’s capitol, Washington DC, to teach several workshop for WholeDC. 2009 would end up being a year full of lots of traveling and teaching!

Cuddle Party would get a mention on the annimated show King of the Hill in March.

In April, I got up the gumption to run my first NC-17 Rated workshop, a workshop for adults age 18 and over where some of the demonstrations would be sexually explicit. Why? Because, as a sex educator, there are some things that are just plain easier to teach folks if I demonstrate them on a living, breathing human being while the audience watches and gets to ask the both of us questions. Let’s face it, in today’s culture many folks get their sex education from watching porn, and watching porn to learn how to be a better lover is like watching The Fast and the Furious to learn how to drive!

Let’s face it, in today’s culture many folks get their sex education from watching porn, and watching porn to learn how to be a better lover is like watching The Fast and the Furious to learn how to drive!

My first NC-17 workshop was The Ergonomics of Dynamic and Dynamite Sex. My goofy sense of humor, shameless view on sex between two consenting adults, and pragmatic approach to having sex in a way that was easier on your body (ergonomics) was a huge success. That was all the proof I needed to begin creating a slew of R-Rated and NC-17 Rated workshops.

And it would be in Sedona, Arizona that May, while attending the annual Sedona Daka-Dakini Conference where I was invited to speak on the topic of sexual healing work with rape and incest survivors that I would be asked to co-organize what would end up being two conferences on the East Coast in the Fall. (Little did I know that these conferences would turn into a huge win-win for everyone in my sex positive world!)

Later that May, I would pull-off one of my biggest teleclass achievements in 2009, the widely successful and still frequently downloaded, Day of Jealousy, where I got 13 of my favorite sex and relationship experts together across several calls to share their views, tips and personal stories on the great Green-Eyed Monster of Jealousy!

The next month, June, I would get the great opportunity to sit down and interview one of my sex ed heroes, mentor and friend Dossie Easton, co-author of the historic text, The Ethical Slut to talk about the release of it’s long awaited 2nd edition! It would take me the rest of 2009 to finally get the video footage from that interview edited and uploaded on to my YouTube “ReidAboutSex” Channel and posted on my site…

June would also find me in San Diego with the amazing Tantra and Polyamory educator and community leader, Kamala Devi, for a week of teaching and frolicking… The week would culminate with Kamala Devi and I shooting our first DVD together – Earning Your BLACKBELT in Relationships. Though it would take the rest of the year for us to edit the final footage, and I would have trouble designing the cover art ($80K of art school education back in action, remember!?), it was an amazing experience and I couldn’t have done it without the tenacious and tender Kamala Devi cracking her velvety whip! The official release party is this Jan 30th in SD, btw! Get your tickets and come join us…

Somewhere along the way,  I joined the Twitter craze and became quite proficient in updating my Facebook status, uploading recent photos of my exploits, and even have links on my site so people can friend and Tweet me. At some point I’ll reach the point of needing to have a FB Fan Page, but for now, I’m quite content with my many friends and using Facebook for buisness and pleasure.

As the saying goes, “Business before pleasure unless pleasure is your business!”

In July, I shared my love of, and savvy for, running teleclasses with my fellow sex positive professionals and taught a workshop on how to design and run your own teleclasses. I couldn’t tell you how many teleclasses I’ve run in the nearly 6-years since Cuddle Party launched my career, but this I can say: If you’re going to ever run a teleclass on how to run teleclasses, don’t be surprised if everything that could go wrong goes wrong! In a befitting twist of “Here is how to be powerful even when something goes wrong,” my 4-week teleclass (available for download) had about a million things go wrong. You’ll be happy to know that I was an excellent role model for “how to fix a glitch” and the “what to do when something goes awry.” The class and the workbook that goes with it came out great, btw, but it was a humbling and illuminating experience to say the least!

Speaking of illumination, as a “sex educator of sex educators,” I found that many of the struggles I’m encountering with the growing my own business and skills as a sex educator have been valuable for my peers when I’ve shared them. I admit it’s a bit vulnerable at times sharing what I’m having challenges with in my life to the world at large; however, business is a lot like love when it comes to communication and growth (and having good days and bad days). So, in the interest of role modeling things that are essential to making relationships sustainable, 2009 was the year that I stepped up my own personal practice a notch and began sharing my challenges and growth edges with my fellow sex educators. Vulnerability and transparency are key, right?

To check out what new things I’m up to for my Sex Educator peeps and Sex-Positive Professional peers, check out my ReidAboutSex Pro-Series products.

The end of Summer and Fall were pretty much consumed by the two Tantra Conferences I was organizing for the East Coast. So consuming in fact, that I chose not to attend the Burning Man Arts Festival in Black Rock City, Nevada. Three years ago I had founded the first large scale queer women’s/lesbian camp at the festival - Camp Beaverton for Wayward Girls. To date, it is one of my most proud commmunity bilding achievments. I note it here as a plug for anyone reading this who’d like to support the Beavers as they fund raise for this years trip to the desert. To learn more about the exploits of the Beavers, go to www.CampBeaverton.org. Go, Beavers!

The campers of Camp Beaverton for Wayward Girls 2007

As you can tell by this year’s accomplishments, I’m not your “normal” sex and relationship educator, and 2009 was the year, in my opinion, when I was finally able to make sense of my diverse and crazy way of approaching sex education. I’d heard from lots of marketing gurus that I was going about it “all wrong.” Their advice was to either “stick with Cuddle Party,” or “pick one niche within sex ed and target just that.” But, to me, there’s so much to talk about when it comes to sex and relationships and intimacy and love. I understood from a marketing point of view, the value of niching, but my intuition kept tugging me in a different direction. It wasn’t until the middle of this year that I began to see what the “Reid Brand” was, and, as the URL states, I am “about sex.” Plain and simple, and so very, very diverse and large and encompassing…. More than pointers on flirting, or podcasts on battling jealousy, or advice on how to understand men and women… I’m, literally, all about sex, all about relationships, love and intimacy, and everything in between.

I’d heard from lots of marketing gurus that I was going about it “all wrong.” Their advice was to either “stick with Cuddle Party,” or “pick one niche within sex ed and target just that.”

This was the year I gave myself permission to just be me, all of me. Not half of me, or what some marketing guru thought America could handle… And, like the advice I dole out to my clients in emails and one-on-one sessions, I began to not hide myself and who I am. America is ready for me, or at the least, I should empower them to chose for themselves if they’re ready or not. Who am I to “turn down the volume” on who I am and what makes me happy so that people feel comfortable? The more powerful and respectful choice is to empower them to choose for themselves, to hold them -and you- capable of saying yay or nay.

So, after running two successful conferences and nearly a year’s worth of PG-13 Rated, R-Rated and NC-17 Rated workshops, as well as a slew of teleclasses and podcast interviews, it was time for me to head to Hollywood and pitch… You guessed it: a reality show! Yep, I created a show about relationships and was off to the land of Lost Angels to squire my creative genius the big leagues of the cable TV industry…

It’s a long story, so I won’t go into it too much, but the short version goes like this:

1. Reid creates a scripted damadie (comedy + drama) series about alternative relationships called Polly And Marie ten years ago…
2. Eight years later, the pilot gets produced by an independent producer in LA and HBO almost buys it…
3. Said producer asks Reid to help him create a reality show on alternative relationships in 2008 and they film the teaser reel to help pitch the show…
4. After lots of legal negotiations, the initial paper work is signed and one of the top reality show producers in LA begins setting up appointments for the show to be pitched staring in November…

As fate would have it, I am contacted by Green Mountain College in Vermont and they ask me to fly to their college to be the headliner presenter for their annual Sexpo Day. This ends up happening the night before my first big reality show pitch meeting in Hollywood… I get up at 3am to drive from Poultney, VT, to the Albany Airport to fly to Hollywood to make my meeting. Thankfully, everything goes smoothly. Yikes!

Reid Mihalko with the enthusiastic students of Vermont's Green Mountain College!

November 19th, my “team” consisting of some of the best reality show and film producers in the business begin pitching our reality show creation to a few major networks. Our team is immediately confronted by concerns from network execs regarding demographics and advertising. While we had accounted for this, it was still amazing to sit in in a room of executives fielding their concerns… Apparently, women behaving badly and stabbing one another in the back to marry a millionaire is more appealing to advertisers trying to sell soap and shaving cream than a show about open relationships founded on the principles of honesty and transparency. Go figure!?!

Apparently, women behaving badly and stabbing one another in the back to marry a millionaire is more appealing to advertisers trying to sell soap and shaving cream than a show about open relationships founded on the principles of honesty and transparency.

Our next pitch meeting is scheduled for Jan 13th in Los Angeles and I’ll keep you posted!

Whew! And that brings us to these last few weeks and the holiday break.

Woefully behind on a few projects (mostly having to do with scheduling teleclasses and workshops and writing promotional copy), I cleaned off as much of my desk as I could, threw some clothes and my computer into a suitcase, and flew to see the family. In between playing with my nieces and nephews, early in the mornings I would secretly creep to my computer to continue plotting out 2010… And here we are: This hopefully, sensical wrap-up of 2009…

And, as if the Universe was trying to tell me something (I’m not sure what, tho!), yesterday I found an autographed picture of moi for sale on eBay. It’s a head shot photo of me from back in my acting days appearing on Guidling Light or Another World or As The World Turns…. Bid staring at $24.99, btw!

Somehow, this seemed a fitting way to close the year for me, and in celebration of my past acting career, I leave you with this clip from 1999 when I appeared for the first time on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show with Jon Stewart…

In 2010, expect lots of workshops, teleclasses, and hopefully a HUGE announcement regarding the sale of my reality show… If you have friends or colleagues who need some relationship coaching, send ‘em my way… And I hope to see you at a workshop sometime soon!

Thanks again for being a part of my work and my journey. I hope the things I’m up to have helped create more freedom and self-expression for you in your bedroom and outside of it!

As we step into this New Year, my wish for you comes from one of my favorite toasts (I apologize that I can’t recall where I found it): May the most you ever ask for be the least you ever get!

Happy New Year!

~REiD

September 25-27th, 2009
Reflections Yoga, 250 West 49th Street, 2nd Floor
Times Square, New York City

• Curious about Sacred Sexuality or have that general feeling that the intimacy in your life is “missing something” or isn’t “deep enough?”
• Had ecstatic experiences in the bedroom that border on spiritual or transcendent, but they’re so far and few between that you’re beginning to doubt if they were real at all?
• Frustrated with your current sex life and really want to “take it to the next level,” but have no idea what the “next level” means, looks like, or how to get there?
• Want to take a workshop on Tantra or Taoist Sexual Practices, but don’t know where to look or how to find a teacher you would connect with?
• Perhaps you know exactly what you want to study, but can’t seem to get your partner or friends to stop calling what you’re into “New Age” and “Woo-Woo Mumbo Jumbo?”

If you answered yes to any of the questions above, or if you or your friends think that shame-free, deeply moving sex and mind expanding orgasms are only for people like Sting, then check out The Great North-East Sacred Sexuality Round Up! and see what is possible for YOU…

If you’re feeling shy about working on your love life in a conscious, intentional way, then why not attend one of the most fun and informative, least threatening and unpretitious (and deeply inspirational!)events on conscious loving happening in the country!

If you love the idea of using sex as a healing path towards greater self-esteem and connection with whatever you label as “the Divine” but can’t understand all the “woo-woo” lingo about Chakras and Divine Masculine that gets tossed around, then join us for one of the most accessible and understandable weekends on sacred sexuality ever put together.

What if we told you mind blowing sex on a regular basis was not only possible, but learnable?

The first of it’s kind, The Great North-East Sacred Sexuality Round Up! is the “gate way drug” for anyone who wants to begin to explore sexuality as a pathway to accelerated healing and  spirituality, or continue to deepen their understanding of sex and love, period.

If you’ve been trying to get your friends to understand what is possible in the realm of expanded relationships and sacred sexual yoga, but to no avail, then get them to New York City this September 25th thru the 27th for what promises NOT to be Sex And the City!

Carrie, Miranda, Charlotte, and Samantha
might have been more successful (and less flustered) if they’d attended

The Great North-East Sacred Sexuality Round Up!

Two amazing days and two delicious nights of the world’s top sacred sexuality educators, teachers, writers, and workshop facilitators.

Join us for Friday Night’s FREE/By Donation, Kick-Off Event…

Alan Steinfeld and Anton Diaz’s The Sacred Sexual Symposium!

Saturday night’s Triple Goddess Tantric Puja – $15 online price, $20 at the door!

And don’t forget a Saturday-day and Sunday-day full of Presenters, too!

Presenter Schedule HERE.

Register Online for the Weekend Events and Save!

Whether you are a beginner, a skeptic, or have been involved in the conscious, spiritual sexuality movement for years, this is your chance to learn from and meet the Who’s Who in Sacred Sexuality in one fell swoop. Gathered together in one place, witness these articulate and dynamic men and women “doing their thing” while also meeting and interacting with like-minded adults just like you!

What if screaming “Oh, God!” in bed was a way of praying?

Connect to a Higher Power (even if, to you, that means staying connected to yourself during sex) by joining the world’s leading experts and teachers in the realms of Tantra, Sacred Sexuality, Conscious Relationships, Pleasure Positive Activism, and Sexual Healing for three amazing days and two delicious nights in New York City!

Come for the day or for the entire weekend! Expand your social network, deepen your insight, and transform your sense of what is possible in love, sex, and life!

For a Current List of Round-Up Presenters, click HERE.

Ticket Prices and Online Savings for the Round-Up:

Recession-Proof Group Savings for Pairs:

Cuddle Party with Cuddle Party co-founder Reid Mihalko

Come to Baltimore’s First Cuddle Party!

Whole DC presents a salon discussion with Reid Mihalko

Let’s Talk About It w/ Sameon with guest Reid Mihalko

Listen Here Online!
(or telephone in from the comfort of your home, car or office…)

Show Host: Sameon
Date: Tuesday, Feb 24, 2009
Time: 5-6:30pm EST/2-3:30pm Pacific
www.blogtalkradio.com/iamsameon for more info…

Show topic: Five Secrets to Attracting a Perfect Partner

Are you someone who continuously attracts the wrong people to date? Do you know someone who can’t seem to meet the right people? Have you ever dated someone who was “almost everything you wanted,” but not quite perfect, or settled for someone just so you wouldn’t have to be lonely? Perhaps you don’t even know what qualities you’re looking for that would make for a perfect partner, and have even less of an idea how you figure such things out?

Join world renowned sex and relationship educator Reid Mihalko for a down and dirty, pragmatic conversation about attracting the perfect partner!

In this episdoe, with time for you to call in and have your questions answered, Sameon will get Reid to show us:

• • How to get out of your own way so your perfect partner can find you
• • What to say and what to ask so you’ll know when you’re meeting a potential perfect partner
• • Ways to be clear and concise in your communications so you can begin attracting the relationship you want
• • How to get your perfect partner to approach you
• • Tools for building a powerful relationship once you’ve attracted that perfect partner

If you would you like to set aside trial and error for a bit and delve deep into how you can attract someone who is truly worth the investment of your time and energy, then you definitely have to tune into this episode with thoughtful host Sameon.

Whether you’re in a relationship or not, this show will provide some useful tools for relationships, period! Join us, and don’t forget to share the opportunity for others to be blessed… Lets Talk About It with Sameon and special guest, Reid Mihalko!

Is romance even possible over time or is it just a “Honeymoon-phase” sort of thing? Can romance be a daily practice? And what do connection and romance have to do with one another and how can they strengthen relationships with others and with one’s self?

Join sex and relationship educator Reid Mihalko for a playful (and connected) two hours of discussion, exercises, and romance just in time for Valentine’s!

We’ll break down and answer such vexing questions as…

• “What the hell do women mean when they say ‘Be more romantic’?” 
• “How does one romance a man?” 
• “Can romance be a daily practice and what does that look like?” and… 
• “Oh god, what am I going to do for Valentine’s Day?!”

You’ll find out what the top romantic activities are (hint: It’s not what you think!). Discover how you can get the object of your affection to be more romantic with you, and learn how to add a little romantic playfulness to your life regularly, or even daily (without the cheese or cliché).

Whether you need some last minute ideas for Valentine’s Day, or want to bring more passion, tenderness or mystique into your relationships as a daily practice, this entertaining workshop will leave you laughing and inspired. Bring a date, bring a friend, and arm yourself with tools, tips, and tricks to make your life more romantic!

Cupid’s Early-Bird Discount… Save $10-off when you pre-pay!

• $20 pre-paid before Feb 11th
• $30 day of and at the door

Questions? Email Reid at reid@reidaboutsex.com