10 Tantra Teachers Over 4 Days on 11-Acres In the Sunshine and Under the Stars…

WHO? Teachers include Reid Mihalko, David Cates, Francoise, Jaiya ma, Katie Weatherup, Kirin Khalsa, Liquid Bells, Robert Silber, Shawn Roop and Kamala Devi. The retreat is limieted to 64 sexy spiritis from around the country.

WHAT? In 8-8-08 Kamala Devi offered an initiation. In 9-9-09 there was an activation. And THIS year we delve into the realm of sexual shamanism.

WHEN? Friday, Oct. 8th thru Monday, Oct. 11th (Columbus Day). Friday night starts with a sensual puja @ 7p and continues with classses, parties, and performances art until 4pm, Monday.

WHERE? A garden paradise in the hills of Escondido. Tuition includes boarding at this 11 acre natural healing estate. There are 2 spas, a pool, trails, fountains, orchards and an outdoor ampitheater where Tantra Theater will perform under the stars.

HOW MUCH? Tuition includes rustic accommodations, all 10 classes, admission to all evening parties, two optional tele-classes and is ONLY $397.

The first 10 participants to register get $100-off!

Call 858-272-2254 Today to Register or Visit BlissCoach.com!

The Juicy Details: This is a ground-breaking festival will happen over Columbus day weekend: Fri. Oct. 8-Mon.11th. on a beautiful 11 acre retreat property in Escondido, just outside of San Diego. This Year’s theme is “SACRED SEXUAL SHAMANISM.” Only 64 friends, lovers and visitors will be creating intentional community for 4 days in a garden paradise in the hills of Escondido, Ca. Together we will study, practice, play, eat, sleep and awaken. If you’ve been wanting to expand your experience of depth and connection from sex, spirituality, and community this is the place to be!

What actually Happens? We’ll kick off on Friday night with a sensual puja led by master Francoise, and then will continue all day on Saturday, Sunday and Monday afternoon with this powerful line up of teachers: Dave Cates, Jaiya Ma, Kirin Khalsa, Liquid Bowls, Reid Mihalko, Robert Silber, and Shawn Roop. Kamala Devi will be your coach and Mistress of Ceremonies. Each teacher will teach for approximately 2-hours, and will be living in resident community for the duration of the retreat.

The weekend takes place in an 11 acre natural healing estate (clothing optional) with 2 spas, a pool, trails, fountains, orchards and an outdoor amphitheater where Tantra Theater will perform under the stars. In the evenings, we’ll have a transformative Tantra Theater Performances followed by sacred sensual play parties and shamanic journeys!

Tuition, room & board? This four day residential event is only $397, which includes. all of the classes, parties, and basic rustic accomodations which are dormatory sleeping or camping (first come first serve basis.)
If you have special needs for space or privacy, you can pay more for private accommodations please contact tantrikakalidas (at) gmail (dot) com If you want to check out the grounds go to:

http://www.hiddenvalleyspa.com/Facility.html

Food will be community potluck, kitchen experience. Once you register, you will be assigned to a kitchen crew and will be asked to bring a specific dish for a specific meal.

We understand that not everyone make it to all three days of the festival, but there are no discounted day passes. The tuition is set at such a reasonable price that we trust you will still get immense value and attend as much as possible. Act fast, the registrations are rolling in.

This retreat is designed for women, men, singles, couples, teachers and students who already have a daily tantra practice. Let us know if you are coming from out-of-town and would like a list of local homes or hotels.

Just so you know, I’ve been having the darndest time with my website and a Google Malware Warning these last few weeks, and wanted to say thank you to everyone who emailed me to give me a heads up that this started happening. You all rock, and thanks for your patience while we got this sorted out.

My website guy assures me that everything’s fixed, that my site isn’t going to eat your computer and that all we’re waiting on is for the Powers that Be at Google to re-scan my site, declare it harmless, and remove the Defcon-5 warning page.

Thanks again for your patience and concern…

We now return you to your regularly scheduled newsletter…

• Article of the Month: Sex Positive Round-Up
• Pics from the Road…
• Videos of the Month
• Coming-Up in June - Reid Takes Chicago!

Article of the Month!

Dr. Charles Glickman and Dr. Carol Queen invited me to chime in on a conversation happening on the Good Vibrations blog about how today’s Sex-Positive Movement might be creating it’s own form of Sex-Negativism… Hmmmmm…

Sex-Positivity Round Robin: The Sexual-rati, Role Modeling, and Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion by Reid Mihalko

“It ain’t easy being this easy,” is a phrase that recently shot across the Twitter-sphere. I uttered this bumper sticker-worthy quip to a roomful of sex and tech geeks at the 3rd annual Sex 2.0 conference (a conference focusing on the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality). True to the nature of the conference, my peers laughed and nodded in sex-positive approval as they blasted the sound bite across the Interwebs.

I identify as a sex-positive slut. My preferred way of getting to know someone is through sensuality and sexuality (Which, btw, is my definition of “slut”). I am also the person who created the non-sexual, boundary and intimacy workshop/social event known as Cuddle Party, the media darling that launched my career when it blew up in the news in 2004.

You might be asking yourself, eyebrow raised and head tilted sideways, “How does a slut create a non-sexual workshop?” The irony isn’t lost on me, either. My journey from Cuddle Party creator to Show-N-Tell sex educator illustrates a lot of what the comment which kicked-off this thread of essays points at: a socio-sexual illustration of Newton’s 3rd Law of Motion – To every action there is always an equal and opposite reaction.

Reid with the legendary feminist, author, and sex geek Dr. Carol Queen

I think the struggle that anyone goes through to discover and claim or reclaim their sexual expression produces a Newton-esque effect: the freedom released in that reclamation must be defended and protected, which is a less-than-expansive reaction. And like Dr. Queen and Dr. Glickman have expressed so eloquently, there isn’t a whole lot of role modeling, or at least hasn’t been till now, for how to combat the human tendency to reactively reduce life into a see-saw: Two sides. Pick one.

Sharing sensuality with others is a lot of work. [...]

Jump to the full article on Good Virbations’ site!

Pics from the Road…

I’ve been traveling nearly this entire month and, oh, what a trip it’s been! From speaking at Brown University to teaching and coaching in New York City to hopping coasts to Los Angeles for more teaching and an appearance on Nina Hartley’s SexWise.TV show to America’s North West for a week and a half in Seattle to speak, teach and coach. Whew!

Here are some pictures and links from this month’s whirl-wind tour…

I was invited to speak on the Sex Panic! censorship panel at Brown University (my alma mater). I think I might have been the comedic relief...

Nothing goes better with Show-N-Tell Sex Education than fresh, locally grown produce!

My Rated-R, "The Ins and Outs of Hand-Sex" workshop at LA's Pleasure Chest where my lovely assitant and I took advantage of an over-ripe cateloupe...

One large cucumber, two kiwis, a few latex gloves, and one, willing audience volunteer: Reid's R-rated recipe for Show-N-Tell Sex Ed!

Teaching a 2-Day intensive on Energetic Sex in Santa Monica, CA. I'll be teaching it again in July 10-11th! Click on the Reid's Calendar for more info.

Me on the set of sex educator Tristan Taormino's super secret documentary project. Yikes!

Pornstar and Sex Educatrix Nina Hartley and me Vanna White'ing it up on her SexWise.TV show. Tune in below...

Teaching my Negotiating Successful Threesomes workshop at The Sharma Center in Seattle, Washington.

Raise your hand if you're a sex geek... Speaking at the 3rd annual Sex 2.0 conference in Seattle, WA, on the "Media Whore" panel with Veronica Monet and Meitar Moscovitz, et al.

Seattle's legendary sex educator/community activist Allena Gabosch making me squirm at the Seattle debut of Iron Slut Sex Educator Showdown!

Videos of the Month….

Good friend and peer, the amazing Nina Hartley invited me to be on her SexWise.TV show while I was in LA to talk about polyamory and sex education. We had a blast and here’s a segment from the show…

For all of you workshop leaders and sex-positive professionals out there, this 60-minute talk I gave at the 3rd annual Sex 2.0 conference in Seattle might be of interest to you… I lead several sessions to my tech-savvy and sex-savvy peers over the weekend. This one’s topic: Why I think sex geeks should be attending conferences and hitting on their peers! Yep, you read that right: Mack’n on your peers and why!… Let me know what you think, ‘k?

Sex 2.0 – The Need For “Peermanship” In Meat-Time: from Castle Megastore on Vimeo.

Coming up in June…

Curious about girl/boy strap-on play? Join Reid and sapphic savant Allie Moon for Pegging 101 at San Francisco’s legendary Center for Sex and Culture for 2-hrs of informative (and humorous) Show-N-Tell sex education!

Join Reid in Chicago for a week of workshops, talks, and an intense 3-day training for workshop leaders and teachers!

Check out Reid’s Calendar for more!

“The Intersection of Social Media, Feminism and Sexuality,” is where you’ll find Reid, of course…

SEATTLE – Sex 2.0 celebrates its third year May 22-23, 2010, in Seattle, Washington, at the Quality Inn.  For the first time, the conference is heading to the West Coast and expanding across an entire weekend, attracting local and national influencers, entrepreneurs and enthusiasts who are defining the future of sex and technology.

Sex 2.0 focuses on the intersection of social media, feminism, and sexuality.  How is social media enabling people to learn, grow, and connect sexually? How is sexual expression tied to social activism? Does the concept of transparency online offer new opportunities or present new roadblocks — or both? These questions, and many more, are addressed within a safe, welcoming, sex positive space.

Topics this year include building your sex positive presence online, using the internet to connect with people as a sex coach or educator, participatory community organizing for social and sexual freedom, the new sex educators, with panels on new media, sex work, and more.

Featuring certified sexologist and author, Veronica Monet, as the keynote speaker and a discussion leader.  Other session leaders include educator, writer, and founder of Cuddle Parties and Show-N-Tell Sex Education, Reid Mihalko of ReidAboutSex.com; executive director of the Center and Foundation for Sex Positive Culture, Allena Gabosch; rope bondage podcaster, author and activist, Graydancer; president of Love U Parties, author, sex educator and activist, Ducky Doolittle; author, high priestess, and founder of Temple of the Red Lotus, Inara de Luna; and many more.

The conference welcomes all sex positive individuals 18+, the GLBTQ, poly, kinky, sex workers, podcasters, eroticists, activists and more.  At Sex 2.0, everyone is a participant, rather than a passive attendee, joining conversations rather than listening to presentations. Respecting the confidentiality and protecting the identities of participants who wish to maintain a degree of anonymity is a top priority at Sex 2.0.

Profits will go to the Northwest chapter of the Sex Workers Outreach Project, which is dedicated to the fundamental human rights of sex workers and their communities, focusing on ending violence and stigma through education and advocacy, and to the event producer, the Foundation for Sex Positive Culture.

Advance registration is mandatory, given the relatively sensitive nature of this event. Registration is open and tickets are $50 until May 19 or tickets sell out.

The conference is being held at the Quality Inn at 618 John St., in the heart of Seattle beside the famous Space Needle and Seattle Center.  It officially runs from 9 a.m. Saturday to 4 p.m. Sunday, with parties on Friday and Sunday.

Read about the THREE TALKS Reid is leading, who else will be there, and how to register at www.sex20con.com.

Sex 2.0 is being produced and sponsored by Seattle’s Foundation for Sex Positive Culture, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization that promotes the many ways sex is beneficial through education, outreach, the arts, advocacy, and research programs that serve the public.   For more information, please visit www.foundationforsexpositiveculture.org.

Join me as I head to the great North-West for more than just coffee and a rainy day…

Join Reid for a nearly two weeks of teaching, coaching, and speaking in Seattle, Washington!

Reid will be leading three talks and appearing on a media panel at Seattle’s Sex 2.0 conference (the panel discussion, it’s rumored, will be their first-ever Spin-The-Bottle panel – Reid’s idea, can’t ya’ tell!?!), facilitating a Negotiating Successful Threesomes workshop and debuting Seattle’s first-ever Iron Slut Sex Education Showdown!

Not seeing something you’d like to see Reid teach? Have an organization or community you’d like Reid to speak to? Looking for some support and coaching in your Seattle-based love-life? Email Reid at reid (at) reidaboutsex (dot) com before his calendar becomes completely full!

[quoterotator]

Kiss Me, I’m a Sex Educator…

It has recently been made painfully obvious to me that my website needs at least a brief history/context of my workshops. Up till now, there’s been little to no explanation. PG, PG13, R-rated, NC17… Those are for movies, not workshops, right? Not anymore.

Does this make me the James Cameron of sex education? I have worn a blue dildo on stage as you’ll see below in the Month In Review. Very Avatar.

To that end, I gladly raise my pint O’ green Guinness to this month’s article, which lays out my workshop philosophy, a little bit of the their history, why they’re designed the way they are, and how I went from creating the non-threatening Cuddle Party phenomenon to hosting the humorous and informative Iron Slut Sex Educator Showdown!

This Month’s article…

Show-N-Tell Sex Ed: Why Putting A Condom On A Banana Isn’t The Same  As Putting A Condom On An Actual Penis

Or…

How I Went From Cuddle Parties to NC17

By Reid Mihalko

Cuddle Parties don’t overtly deal with sex. Nor should they. But what should?

In today’s touch starved culture, Cuddle Party was (and still is) doing a great job of giving people a sunggle-O-licious laboratory to practice the foundational communication skills that make the world safe for touch and affection. And the world could stand to be more cuddle-friendly.

Skills like asking for what you want, the ability to change one’s mind (and communicate it), and being able to say No without feeling guilty are just as important when you’re naked between the sheets as when you and your friends are pajama-clad, hug-deep in a puppy pile. And while Cuddle Party is an amazing, interactive experience where people become better communicators of their needs and boundaries and learn how to create more affection and nurturing touch in their lives, I had nowhere of my own to send people who wanted to increase their sexual confidence in a more direct manner.

Let’s face it, the communication needs are similar, but spooning isn’t the same as forking…

Read the Entire Article

The Month in Review….

February was a busy, busy month!

I traveled home to the East Coast after several long weeks away and lead a slew of workshops in New York City. It was almost Valentine’s, which is the “busy season” when you’re a sex and relationship educator. Singles Only Cuddle Party? Check. Romance For The Rest of Us workshop? Check…. This year I added a spiritual talk on relationships called Relationships: The Reality and The Illusion, that I co-lead with esteemed yoga teacher and spiritual seeker Paula Tursi.

For Valentine’s Day, Cupid sent me back to my old college stomping grounds!

I trekked North up to Providence, Rhode Island, to teach my Sex Educator Showdown with RI’s favorite hometown sex educator, Megan Andeloux. It would mark my 20th year re-visit to my Alma Mater, Brown University. Oh, what a blast THAT was, teaching to 225+ Brown students!

I bolted back down to the Big Apple to teach another well-attended The Ins and Outs of Hand Sex with Amy Jo Goddard at NYC’s Sexy Spirits (In September, Richard Anton Diaz, founder of Sexy Spirits, and I will be hosting the 2nd Annual Sacred Sexuality Round-Up in Times Square, so keep an eye out for announcements!).

I would pack up my belongings once again and head West to interview the legendary “father of sexological bodywork,” Joseph Kramer, at San Francisco’s historic Center for Sex and Culture.

I closed out a busy February co-leading the Foundations of Facilitation weekend intensive with Cuddle Party co-founder Marcia Baczynski. For those of you who missed the FoF in Oakland, I’ll be leading Foundations of Facilitation and a slew of other workshops in Chicago this June. Why don’cha join me?!

After that, to kick-off March, I had the great pleasure to help one of my favorite community causes, the Burning Man Art Festival’s largest queer women’s theme camp, Camp Beaverton for Wayward Girls, raise funds for their trek to the desert this September. Not only was it a complete blast, I had so much fun that I gave myself a humongous cold and spent most of the following two weeks triangulating my bed, my computer, and my coffee maker!

Now, nearly fully recovered, the March Newsletter  is out and I’m off to posting all of the amazing workshops I’ve got scheduled for the next 6-to-8 weeks…

I’ve got a FREE teleclass on Sex Magic to kick-off Kamala Devi’s East Bay visit to my East Bay event space, Fruitopia! Just because some folks can’t make it to Oakland for the weekend of events doesn’t mean they should be denied Kamala, right? So I created a teleclass anyone could dial-in to or download later.

Kamala Devi, my cohort in my first educational DVD on relationships (see below) will be arriving to the East Bay and going head-to-head with me in my Iron Slut Sex Educator Showdown as well as the East Bay, Ninja-themed launch of our DVD and a day in our Relationship Dojo and Play Party “Lab” working on Jealousy. And following that action-packed weekend, it’s off to LA to teach my PG13-rated Tantra for Beginners at the Pleasure Chest store in West Hollywood and take on The Playboy Channel’s favorite Tantra educator, the lovely Jaiya Ma in Los Angeles’ debut of Iron Slut…

Which brings us to April and a whole ‘nother round of fabulosity: a teleclass on chronic pain in the bedroom and a special, Tax Day Iron Slut in Oakland that you will not want to miss!

Yikes! Spring has sprung!

Hope you had a wonderful St. Patty’s Day. Kiss a sex educator. I hear it’ll bring you luck!

Yours in self-expressed relationships,
REiD

To see what Reid’s up to this month and next…

Whatever your reason, if you can’t seem to get to where Reid’s traveling next… Why not have him send you one of his DVD’s?

Three days with hundreds of poly men and women, the poly-curious, and some of America’s top relationship educators!

Join world renowned sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko along with polyamorists (and the people who love ‘em!) from all over the country for the fifth annual Poly Living conference, in honor of Poly Living’s Creator George Marvil.

Spend three days with over a hundred open, intelligent and fun loving people as they descend on the Fort Washington Hotel out side of Philadelphia for workshops, social bonding, and more!

Poly Living is a place to learn relationship skills that support healthy polyamorous relationships. Poly-curious, monogamous and in a relationship with someone who’s poly, or monogamous but looking to upgrade your relationship skills? No problem! Poly Living’s workshops cover skills sets that can make whatever relationship-style your practicing stronger. As keynote speaker Reid Mihalko likes to say, “If I can have three relationships running smoothly, I might be able to help you have one!”

Poly Living’s workshops range from basic to advanced and from intellectual to experiential, covering topics both fun and serious.

18 Amazing workshops • Friday night Keynote and Reception • Saturday Luncheon • Saturday Night Social Time

This year’s keynote address topic by Reid Mihalko?

What happens when Poly becomes mainstream?

For the activists among us, progress for the poly movement has never been fast enough. For those who’ve been “poly for years,” shows like Big Love and the occasional Oprah episode on open marriages -whether “poly” is used or not- reassure us that things are shifting. For the newly poly, posting “In an open relationship” on our Facebook profile reminds us that we are no longer the only stranger in a strange land. And for the monogamous person choosing into a poly relationship, today, more than ever, there are books, workshops and DVDs to help you get your black belt in relationships and increase your odds of survival… No matter where you are on the poly spectrum of experience, what we all have in common is that polyamory is not yet mainstream… Has anyone thought about what happens when it does?

Join Reid Mihalko as he talks about his journey in polyamory, his experiences bringing poly to Hollywood and the reality television show business, and what Reid thinks is going to happen to us poly folk when polyamory becomes a household word.

Are you a Polyamory Educator, Community Leader, Sex Educator, Blogger or something like that? Why not attend the 3rd Annual National Polyamory Leadership Summit happening right after Poly Living!

Calling All Poly Leaders! Don’t Miss Your Opportunity to Get Things Accomplished!

Please join us in Philadelphia for the 3rd National Polyamory Leadership Summit

2009’s summit got us off to a roaring start! We had nearly 50 attendees from all across the country. We generated amazing amounts of information and tons of exciting ideas. We also planted the seeds and began building bonds and relationships that would carry polyamory awareness into the next decade.

2010 is the year we water these seeds, leverage 2009’s relationships and begin to implement, integrate and make progress!

Deadline to Register is February 15^th
Summit Attendance is 60-70 people maximum!
Don’t get shut out! RSVP today!

Facilitated by ReidAboutSex.com’s prolific Reid Mihalko, this year’s summit promises to be one of the most productive, least formal and fun one’s yet!

Don’t miss you chance to get involved, get things done, and make a difference!

Location:
Holiday Inn, Fort Washington, PA (suburban Philadelphia)

• Evening of Sunday, February 21 – 8pm till Midnite (directly following the Poly Living Conference , and Reid guarantees he’s got fun things in store to kick off the productivity!)
  
• All day Monday, February 22 – 9am to 5pm

“This year’s Polyamory Leadership Summit is about leveraging and implementing! While we’re going to play hard and have the most fun we can, be prepared to work! 2010 is the year we create results!”

~Reid Mihalko, this year’s Poly Living Conference keynote and 2010’s Polyamory Leadership Summit facilitator

Cost:  $60 BEFORE deadline.

$75 in-person.

The National Polyamory Leadership Group is a collaborative group of polyamory community leaders from around the U.S. who have come together to carry the polyamory movement forward. The group advocates for the interests of all who self-identify as polyamorous regardless of age, gender, race, religion, sexual orientation or political point of view.

The intention of this year’s leadership summit is:

• To honor and improve on what we’ve accomplished in the last two years.
• To rejuvenate ourselves.
• To deepen our connections and bonds with other poly leaders.
• To help the poly and poly-curious find support and resources!

All participants, for this summit are expected to commit to the following:

• To show up ready to work, connect, and frolic.
• To say No when you are a No, Yes when you are a Yes, and No when you are a Maybe.
• To contribute –if you’re a Yes- what you do best to the group.
• To take on nothing that you aren’t already good at.
• To take on nothing that you aren’t excited and inspired by.
• To collaborate with others in an honest and productive manner, which includes keeping conflict to a minimum and avoiding it entirely whenever possible, as well as not placing personal agendas ahead of these two inquires during the summit: How can we better help poly people? How can we better help poly-curious folk?

If these intentions do not excite you, or you cannot agree to the above expectations, Reid respectfully asks that you not attend this year’s leadership summit.

Reid regrets that there will be no teleconferencing option this year. Apologies to last year’s awesome phone-in poly peeps! Get to Philly if you can!

Requirements for Participation:
Purchase a ticket. Show up. Work hard. Play hard.

Payment of the participation fee by February 15, 2009

No Survey to fill out this year. Get your ticket. Get your butt to Philly.

Attending the Poly Living Conference is appreciated, but is not a prerequisite to attend the leadership summit.

If you’re passionate about Polyamory and Consentual Non-Monogamy, are a leader in your community –Or want to be!- then get thy butt to Philadelphia for the 3^rd National Polyamory Leadership Summit! Reid and the rest of the Poly Community wants YOU!

Many thanks for what we accomplished together this year…

Hey, gang!

Impending New Year’s greetings from Northern California where I’m holed up in a cabin with some close friends gearing up to ring in the New Year… Today we close ‘09 and open up ‘10… ‘010? 2010! You get the picture…

Even though this is my vacation, as the early morning mists creep up the hill through the surrounding Red Wood trees, I’ve been slipping out of bed, tip toeing to the coffee maker and brewing a heaping pot o’ the morning joe. As the rest of the house sleeps, after adding my Bailey’s, I grab my coffee and my laptop to log in a few hours of work as is my workaholic routine (which, btw, happens to be a good thing when you’re an entrepreneur sex and relationship educator as I am!). I’ve learned that a few hours of calendaring, writing, website updating, and the reading other’s blogs allows me to relax the rest of the day. And so it is…

This morning, I am reminded by how so very blessed I am to be able to do what I do, and it’s because of YOU that I get to do it. So, before the world kicks off another year, I wanted to thank you for accompanying me on my journey in 2009.

Whether this is the first time you’ve visited my website or the 100th time… Whether you’ve just signed up for my newsletter, downloaded your first podcast, attended a dozen workshops, or hired me for relationship coaching… It all boils down to this: my world doesn’t work without your support and participation. So, during these last moments of 2009, I send you MUCH, MUCH GRATITUDE for helping me making this a break out year for ReidAboutSex.

I hope you got as much out of 2009 as I did. This was a HUGELY busy year for me and, in looking back over the last 12-months, it seemed appropriate to summarize and share what we accomplished this year.

Thusly, our year in review, the highlights…

I kicked off 2009 by launching the first of many of my more “edgy” workshops and many people turned out for ‘em!

Having recently turned Cuddle Party, the G-Rated, pop-culture phenomenon communication (even SNL did a skit on us) workshop about nonsexual affection and social intimacy that launched my career, into a non-profit (not that it was making a profit – insert snare-drum ba-dump-bump!), I was free to venture into more salacious sex ed territory without damaging Cuddle Party’s sterling reputation. Following my instincts would eventually lead to me creating a rating system for my workshops analogous to the film and television industries’ rating system.

The first of my edgier offerings would be the playful and salacious Negotiating Successful Threesomes (With Live Demonstrations!) at San Francisco’s Center for Sex and Culture.

The first of my R-Rated workshops, Negotiating Successful Threesomes was designed to have – shock! gasp! – “live demonstrations!” The demos consisted of friends of mine (and later on, audience volunteers) acting out fully-clothed versions out of my Threesome Kama Sutra along with practicing the communicating and ice-breaking tools and techniques that the workshop delves into. It was a huge success and so much fun that I immediately turned up the heat and began considering what my first NC-17 Rated workshop would be. That workshop wouldn’t launch for another few months…

2009 was also the year that February 13th, the day before St. Valentine’s Day, just happened to be a Friday… The combination of Friday the 13th falling before Valentine’s Day inspired me to declare every Friday the 13th, National End a Bad Relationship Day!

Sometimes, the first step in creating the relationship of your dreams is to end the nightmare relationship you’re currently in, so I held a teleclass on how to break up with panaché.

On the website front, I finally began the reorganization of the ReidAboutSex website. The first step was to begin gathering all the disparate posts and announcements and herding all of my free products and podcasts onto one easy-to-click on page of FREE Reid Stuff… One of the fun parts was dusting off my art school degree, double-clicking on my copy of Adobe Photoshop and designing a few eye-grabbing buttons to promote things. This would become the eventual home of podcasts Women Who Give Too Much with Diana Adams, and the hugely popular Energetic Sex: From Mystical to Practical podcast.

March would find me kicking off the first teaching trip of the year, landing me in our nation’s capitol, Washington DC, to teach several workshop for WholeDC. 2009 would end up being a year full of lots of traveling and teaching!

Cuddle Party would get a mention on the annimated show King of the Hill in March.

In April, I got up the gumption to run my first NC-17 Rated workshop, a workshop for adults age 18 and over where some of the demonstrations would be sexually explicit. Why? Because, as a sex educator, there are some things that are just plain easier to teach folks if I demonstrate them on a living, breathing human being while the audience watches and gets to ask the both of us questions. Let’s face it, in today’s culture many folks get their sex education from watching porn, and watching porn to learn how to be a better lover is like watching The Fast and the Furious to learn how to drive!

Let’s face it, in today’s culture many folks get their sex education from watching porn, and watching porn to learn how to be a better lover is like watching The Fast and the Furious to learn how to drive!

My first NC-17 workshop was The Ergonomics of Dynamic and Dynamite Sex. My goofy sense of humor, shameless view on sex between two consenting adults, and pragmatic approach to having sex in a way that was easier on your body (ergonomics) was a huge success. That was all the proof I needed to begin creating a slew of R-Rated and NC-17 Rated workshops.

And it would be in Sedona, Arizona that May, while attending the annual Sedona Daka-Dakini Conference where I was invited to speak on the topic of sexual healing work with rape and incest survivors that I would be asked to co-organize what would end up being two conferences on the East Coast in the Fall. (Little did I know that these conferences would turn into a huge win-win for everyone in my sex positive world!)

Later that May, I would pull-off one of my biggest teleclass achievements in 2009, the widely successful and still frequently downloaded, Day of Jealousy, where I got 13 of my favorite sex and relationship experts together across several calls to share their views, tips and personal stories on the great Green-Eyed Monster of Jealousy!

The next month, June, I would get the great opportunity to sit down and interview one of my sex ed heroes, mentor and friend Dossie Easton, co-author of the historic text, The Ethical Slut to talk about the release of it’s long awaited 2nd edition! It would take me the rest of 2009 to finally get the video footage from that interview edited and uploaded on to my YouTube “ReidAboutSex” Channel and posted on my site…

June would also find me in San Diego with the amazing Tantra and Polyamory educator and community leader, Kamala Devi, for a week of teaching and frolicking… The week would culminate with Kamala Devi and I shooting our first DVD together – Earning Your BLACKBELT in Relationships. Though it would take the rest of the year for us to edit the final footage, and I would have trouble designing the cover art ($80K of art school education back in action, remember!?), it was an amazing experience and I couldn’t have done it without the tenacious and tender Kamala Devi cracking her velvety whip! The official release party is this Jan 30th in SD, btw! Get your tickets and come join us…

Somewhere along the way,  I joined the Twitter craze and became quite proficient in updating my Facebook status, uploading recent photos of my exploits, and even have links on my site so people can friend and Tweet me. At some point I’ll reach the point of needing to have a FB Fan Page, but for now, I’m quite content with my many friends and using Facebook for buisness and pleasure.

As the saying goes, “Business before pleasure unless pleasure is your business!”

In July, I shared my love of, and savvy for, running teleclasses with my fellow sex positive professionals and taught a workshop on how to design and run your own teleclasses. I couldn’t tell you how many teleclasses I’ve run in the nearly 6-years since Cuddle Party launched my career, but this I can say: If you’re going to ever run a teleclass on how to run teleclasses, don’t be surprised if everything that could go wrong goes wrong! In a befitting twist of “Here is how to be powerful even when something goes wrong,” my 4-week teleclass (available for download) had about a million things go wrong. You’ll be happy to know that I was an excellent role model for “how to fix a glitch” and the “what to do when something goes awry.” The class and the workbook that goes with it came out great, btw, but it was a humbling and illuminating experience to say the least!

Speaking of illumination, as a “sex educator of sex educators,” I found that many of the struggles I’m encountering with the growing my own business and skills as a sex educator have been valuable for my peers when I’ve shared them. I admit it’s a bit vulnerable at times sharing what I’m having challenges with in my life to the world at large; however, business is a lot like love when it comes to communication and growth (and having good days and bad days). So, in the interest of role modeling things that are essential to making relationships sustainable, 2009 was the year that I stepped up my own personal practice a notch and began sharing my challenges and growth edges with my fellow sex educators. Vulnerability and transparency are key, right?

To check out what new things I’m up to for my Sex Educator peeps and Sex-Positive Professional peers, check out my ReidAboutSex Pro-Series products.

The end of Summer and Fall were pretty much consumed by the two Tantra Conferences I was organizing for the East Coast. So consuming in fact, that I chose not to attend the Burning Man Arts Festival in Black Rock City, Nevada. Three years ago I had founded the first large scale queer women’s/lesbian camp at the festival - Camp Beaverton for Wayward Girls. To date, it is one of my most proud commmunity bilding achievments. I note it here as a plug for anyone reading this who’d like to support the Beavers as they fund raise for this years trip to the desert. To learn more about the exploits of the Beavers, go to www.CampBeaverton.org. Go, Beavers!

The campers of Camp Beaverton for Wayward Girls 2007

As you can tell by this year’s accomplishments, I’m not your “normal” sex and relationship educator, and 2009 was the year, in my opinion, when I was finally able to make sense of my diverse and crazy way of approaching sex education. I’d heard from lots of marketing gurus that I was going about it “all wrong.” Their advice was to either “stick with Cuddle Party,” or “pick one niche within sex ed and target just that.” But, to me, there’s so much to talk about when it comes to sex and relationships and intimacy and love. I understood from a marketing point of view, the value of niching, but my intuition kept tugging me in a different direction. It wasn’t until the middle of this year that I began to see what the “Reid Brand” was, and, as the URL states, I am “about sex.” Plain and simple, and so very, very diverse and large and encompassing…. More than pointers on flirting, or podcasts on battling jealousy, or advice on how to understand men and women… I’m, literally, all about sex, all about relationships, love and intimacy, and everything in between.

I’d heard from lots of marketing gurus that I was going about it “all wrong.” Their advice was to either “stick with Cuddle Party,” or “pick one niche within sex ed and target just that.”

This was the year I gave myself permission to just be me, all of me. Not half of me, or what some marketing guru thought America could handle… And, like the advice I dole out to my clients in emails and one-on-one sessions, I began to not hide myself and who I am. America is ready for me, or at the least, I should empower them to chose for themselves if they’re ready or not. Who am I to “turn down the volume” on who I am and what makes me happy so that people feel comfortable? The more powerful and respectful choice is to empower them to choose for themselves, to hold them -and you- capable of saying yay or nay.

So, after running two successful conferences and nearly a year’s worth of PG-13 Rated, R-Rated and NC-17 Rated workshops, as well as a slew of teleclasses and podcast interviews, it was time for me to head to Hollywood and pitch… You guessed it: a reality show! Yep, I created a show about relationships and was off to the land of Lost Angels to squire my creative genius the big leagues of the cable TV industry…

It’s a long story, so I won’t go into it too much, but the short version goes like this:

1. Reid creates a scripted damadie (comedy + drama) series about alternative relationships called Polly And Marie ten years ago…
2. Eight years later, the pilot gets produced by an independent producer in LA and HBO almost buys it…
3. Said producer asks Reid to help him create a reality show on alternative relationships in 2008 and they film the teaser reel to help pitch the show…
4. After lots of legal negotiations, the initial paper work is signed and one of the top reality show producers in LA begins setting up appointments for the show to be pitched staring in November…

As fate would have it, I am contacted by Green Mountain College in Vermont and they ask me to fly to their college to be the headliner presenter for their annual Sexpo Day. This ends up happening the night before my first big reality show pitch meeting in Hollywood… I get up at 3am to drive from Poultney, VT, to the Albany Airport to fly to Hollywood to make my meeting. Thankfully, everything goes smoothly. Yikes!

Reid Mihalko with the enthusiastic students of Vermont's Green Mountain College!

November 19th, my “team” consisting of some of the best reality show and film producers in the business begin pitching our reality show creation to a few major networks. Our team is immediately confronted by concerns from network execs regarding demographics and advertising. While we had accounted for this, it was still amazing to sit in in a room of executives fielding their concerns… Apparently, women behaving badly and stabbing one another in the back to marry a millionaire is more appealing to advertisers trying to sell soap and shaving cream than a show about open relationships founded on the principles of honesty and transparency. Go figure!?!

Apparently, women behaving badly and stabbing one another in the back to marry a millionaire is more appealing to advertisers trying to sell soap and shaving cream than a show about open relationships founded on the principles of honesty and transparency.

Our next pitch meeting is scheduled for Jan 13th in Los Angeles and I’ll keep you posted!

Whew! And that brings us to these last few weeks and the holiday break.

Woefully behind on a few projects (mostly having to do with scheduling teleclasses and workshops and writing promotional copy), I cleaned off as much of my desk as I could, threw some clothes and my computer into a suitcase, and flew to see the family. In between playing with my nieces and nephews, early in the mornings I would secretly creep to my computer to continue plotting out 2010… And here we are: This hopefully, sensical wrap-up of 2009…

And, as if the Universe was trying to tell me something (I’m not sure what, tho!), yesterday I found an autographed picture of moi for sale on eBay. It’s a head shot photo of me from back in my acting days appearing on Guidling Light or Another World or As The World Turns…. Bid staring at $24.99, btw!

Somehow, this seemed a fitting way to close the year for me, and in celebration of my past acting career, I leave you with this clip from 1999 when I appeared for the first time on Comedy Central’s The Daily Show with Jon Stewart…

In 2010, expect lots of workshops, teleclasses, and hopefully a HUGE announcement regarding the sale of my reality show… If you have friends or colleagues who need some relationship coaching, send ‘em my way… And I hope to see you at a workshop sometime soon!

Thanks again for being a part of my work and my journey. I hope the things I’m up to have helped create more freedom and self-expression for you in your bedroom and outside of it!

As we step into this New Year, my wish for you comes from one of my favorite toasts (I apologize that I can’t recall where I found it): May the most you ever ask for be the least you ever get!

Happy New Year!

~REiD

Meet at the Clock/Info Kiosk in Grand Central to head over to the “Activation Bus” and up to the Catskills!

The rumors are true! Get your tickets online and save $$$ for the charter bus leaving 42nd Street and 3rd Ave Thursday afternoon, Oct 1st, heading to the Daka/Dakini Conference East up North…

Dez and Reid have chartered a coach bus up to Shandelee Lake and nick named it “The Activation Bus!” We’ve got enough people heading up Thursday night, so why not kick-off our conference a little earlier, right? Let’s begin our rest and relaxation and bonding a few hours earlier and arrive in the Catskills in time to devour the fabulous meal Ettore will have awaiting us!

Here’s what you need to do:

1. Purchase your bus tickets in advanced for $32 or pay $35 in cash when you show up at the bus (bring a two or three bucks to tip the driver, too, if you want).
2. Get yourself to Grand Central Station at the Great Clock/Info Kiosk inside by 4pm when we leave together to walk to the bus a few blocks away (we can’t park the bus at Grand Central, sadly).
3. If you miss us at Grand Central, get your butt to 42nd Street and 3rd Avenue, the North East corner, no later than 4:15pm to check in and get on board!
4. We leave at 4:30pm with or without you.

If you were originally planning on coming up Friday and want to change your mind, no problem. Just purchase an Activation Bus ticket and call Keith to book an extra night’s lodging and the Thursday night dinner! See you on the bus…

What if I miss the “Activation Bus” or want to come up later? What are my options?

Your options are to drive yourself or take the bus.

Please be aware that Shortline Bus only runs three buses up to Livingston Manor and two buses back to New York City each day. Plan accordingly.

And when you arrive to Livingston Manor, or need to leave, please let Keith know so we can come pick you up where the bus drops you off in Livingston Manor. You’re just a few minutes walk away from Shandelee Lake Inn, but it’s so much nicer if we just scoop you up, and it’s our pleasure to!

Keith’s number, again, is (718) 581-9987.

Is there a Ride Share Board and Room Share Board?

Yes, go HERE if you’re looking to share a room or a ride.

Friday , Sept 25th

Saturday, Sept 26th

Sunday, Sept 27th